What Constitutes Touch

Yesterdays fortune was "I Love Your Healing Touch".  And it was timely because recently a few people I barely knew said how I inspired and influenced them and I certainly didn't try to...I just modeled a way of being and transformation for them.  So apparently I touched them without ever laying a hand or barely speaking to.  They just noticed things about me.

So the apparent touch is in a kiss or a hug (I'm big on the quality of hugs no burping allowed) or grasp of a hand.  But we truly we touch people when we say thank you or hello, when we smile at a stranger, just in the way we carry ourselves.  Sometimes this paralyzes me, because I think of the movie Butterfly Effect.  If you haven't seen it, I recommend but I do with caution.  The theme for the movie is that when a butterfly flaps a wing in one place it can cause a hurricane in another.  Yikes right.  I remember going through major fear of cause and effect.  I was a bone marrow donor and I hadn't even thought twice about donating.  It was for an 11 year old girl.  So there I definitely touched a life but I knew at the least I was just giving hope.  The recovery was painful and all of a sudden I had an oh shit feeling.  What did I do.  I just bought into the medical model that I don't believe in.  How machiavellian can healing get.  The reason she needed my bone marrow is because they radiated and chemoed her to such an extreme and then to get my bone marrow they needed to stab into my sacrum (granted I was put out during that part, but felt it afterwards) over and over to remove it.  Who thought of it.  And then, there is no guarantee that I helped her.  What if I did save her life and then she became a drunk driver and killed someone elses child.  Or she marries someone her beats her.  What did I do.  I literally started sobbing.  I got over it and then went back to all I can promise is hope and you can't guarantee how a person receives what you give them.  With organ donations there is a chance of rejection or as the quote says cause a hurricane...same thing with loving intention.  So it's important that our intentions are clear but that we have a greater awareness of the impact of the way we touch peoples live.