Total Receptivity Under Skeptical Times

I love your trust in others is the fortune cookie of the day.  I have to admit I don't know if I have trust in others as much as I have trust in the perfection of life and others are a part of life.  I actually have a hard time depending on people...hmmm, is that the same thing...maybe not.

I would say that I've always had a higher average degree of trust and that's basically because I really don't believe in evil, per se.  I believe at heart most people want to do the right thing and what they choose as a right thing may be less then upstanding because of fear and control issues that they have and their lack of trust or their attachment to the results.

The other thing that helps my trust is age and perspective.  Things in the moment can be painful and yet I've learned over time that in the end it was what I needed to go through to be open to the next amazing experience.

I actually came up with an acronym for trust which I like.  It's Total Receptivity Under Skeptical Times.  And we have to be open to what is in front of us as that is all we have...the past is over and the future hasn't happened yet.  So if we don't trust what's in the moment life is really bleak...and didn't I tell you, positivity makes life way more enjoyable.  I guess we could be miserable but then I'd just want to nap all the time because that is just exhausting.

Probably the quote that summarizes this the best was shared with me by my friend Julia.  "It's going to be alright in the end.  If it's not all right, it's not the end."  I probably should have just shared that.

So just surrender to the moment...this leaves me with sharing a song that is wise and touches my heart.  This is the best youtube version I can find which is a little long, if you don't want to listen to the entire 11 minutes, it's the first 4 that summarizes the intent...he roles into a kirtan which is also beautiful...just don't want you to be discouraged...Trust me!!! (tee her)

Plessure Principle

"I love that you approach life with laughter and life" was todays fortune cookie.  I was about to reply mockingly, do I have a choice.  And of course, we always have a choice...we even have the choice not to choose.  So truth is this is a survival tactic.  It doesn't always feel conscious but trust me when I say I was far more uptight and took everything way more seriously when I was in my teens and 20's.  It's evolved over time and the more I do it, the better I get at it and the better the quality of my life has become.  And I've learned that is just exhausting.  Don't get me wrong, I even though I use humor and laughter and optimism (or healthy does of rationalization depending on your perspective), I take everything seriously I just try to make lemonade out of lemons.   I believe in being a co-creative partner with the universe in my life and I get to have a say in the outcome and by taking a playful optimistic approach that is what I will magnetize. I also believe in making lemonade our of lemons, and laughter and light are the sweetener.  It's really the pleasure principle in action.

So why bitch, just enjoy yourself...and dance along, if you please....

From Subtle to Sublime

I love how you notice the subtle things is the love fortune that I was focused on yesterday.  And I guess because I'm more interested at what is going on under the mask than what the mask is portraying.  Life is so much deeper than what we see on the surface.  And also this had a slight diversion for me yesterday as I believe the messages from the universe can be subtle at first and if you aren't watching than you can sometimes feel that the universe is working against you then with you.  And that is just a bold face misconception.

What had me focused on the subtle more intently was the Receiving Project.  Through a delightfully synchronistic way I discovered this and although not much about these concepts are new, I decided to give it a shot.  After all, I can often get distracted in my day to day and can always use a refresher.

Wait, I put the cart before the horse, this is a 32 day E-program (that is free - how's that for a gift from the universe) to help us get better at receiving.  Many of us are more natural at giving than receiving.  Although I do believe in miracles and believe that you can win the golden ticket overnight more often than not life is incremental in it's improvements. I also have a theory that what we believe is the magic ticket was just the point that we began to notice and that the changes were happening for a while leading up to it.

And just think about it.  If you kept offering a great gift to a friend and they kept saying no thank you or not appreciating it, you'd probably stop giving it or give it to someone else.  The universe is our friend, even if it's not on your Facebook or twitter list.  So I think it's important to acknowledge the small things as we don't want the universe to stop and if we show appreciation, the universe can get even more generous.

I'm only on day 3 of this receiving project myself and yesterday was to be a look out for what you receive.  And had that not been in my mind, if you asked me this morning what I received yesterday wasn't much.  And there were a series of nice interactions and compliments that happened to me that I tracked, including a shout out in a locker room from my friends, that when asked "what did you receive yesterday" the old Lulu would have said nothing.  Yet yesterday I received quite a lot of small sweet presents.  And when we notice the subtle the life can feel sublime.

And since I've been on a theme of sharing music videos.  Not quite sure why this one but Freckles can be subtle too...and I really like this song...it's got a great message...plus the images in this version are sweet...so receive this.

I have a few p.s.'s that I thought of on the subway. Some people don't like to receive because they feel like they owe the gifter and don't want to be in debted to anyone. Unless the person states that as a condition, the answer is no. Don't get me wrong you do need to be in the flow of giving and receiving, it's just not tit for tat. We receive from one and sometimes we return a favor or we can pay it forward or be generous in another way that seems unconnected. Yet that is also a misconception, we are all connected. And in truth the debt and asset account of giving and receiving is more universal and we need it to balance it out in the end and WE ALL have a role to play and we can alternate roles from time to time so it isn't one-sided too. You also can't under-estimate the gift in giving. I receive great pleasure in giving. So when I am stifled, I can get cranky. People believe Mother Teresa was selfless. No one is selfless and yet some of us get the bigger picture. And that truly is sublime.

The Anti Poker Face

So today's love fortune is I love the faces you make. I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and am expressive in story and tone; however, since I'm not practicing in the mirror, I would have said he was exaggerating. Would have is the key word, had my friend not taken these candid shots on the day of my birthday ride.

Who Knew?!?! Can't say I'm proud nor will i be listing this as a talent on my resume, but I do admit when I am wrong. He was not exaggerating when he says I make expressive faces. It makes me giggle now to think of the scenarios and types of faces I may be making during different activites...this can become fun...maybe I'll become Lulu, the Woman with 1000 faces.  Or maybe I'll use that to my advantage and start to get really good at poker and be known as the anti-poker face. Which leads me to share something in theme with yesterdays Feisty....drum roll....I give you Lady Feisty...no sorry Lady Gaga

Feistily Perfect!!!

So yes, todays fortune is I Love How  You Can Be Feisty.  I have to say I giggled with delight on this one.  And said yeah I guess I am and don't you just like the way the word sounds.  And I particularly like to role out the F and make it more like Ffffff-ice-tea!!!!

I guess that alone makes me feisty.  But if you've been reading my blog lately, you know I like to reference the dictionary to make sure I really understand what it means vs my interprestation.  So The Free Dictionary Online has:

Feist-y

 1. Touchy; quarrelsome. 

2. Full of spirit or pluck; frisky or spunky. 

Hmmm, I like to be considred full of spirit or pluck.  Filled with pluck...pretty cool huh.  Frisky and spunky are pretty desirable attributes in my book too, but touchy or quarrelsome...not so much.  Although, if I'm going to walk my talk. I have to own both sides of the coin; otherwise it's a bit of denial.  So yes I have my moments of touchy and quarrelsome at times too.

And, without getting too psychological, because of some nasty experiences with rage-full people, I resisted owning that I may have had some anger at times which could result in the touchy and quarrelsome behavior because I didn't want to be an angry or mean person.  Yes my inner logic didn't totally fly as there is appropriate anger, but my mind would do that pendulum swing of all or nothing sometimes.  Can you relate?

Yes I understand know that life is a gradation of grays and not black and white.  And the opposite side of touchy and quarrelsome aka black is plucky and spunky aka white.  In my denial of the black...I also denied myself the pleasure of the white (or the gray in between).  And I guess I it took me a while to proudly own my feisty once I even realized I had it.  And trust me, now I know I have it in the black, the white and the more than 50 shades of gray in between...

And a current and appropriate representation of feisty comes from an icon of feisty, P!nk (yes if you read my post concert blog I have a girl crush).   A friend recently told me there was something on YouTube about her stopping in the middle of a ballad while in concert because of a crying child and fighting parents.   Oops, I was about to give the story away.  Watch this!

And as an icon for feisty, I also feel that her F**kin Perfect video is a great example of misunderstood feisty.  And the concept of Perfect most definitely gets my feisty up. That is because mostly there is a stepford style of perfection that is implied with this word. So when you are limited by the fairy tale images of perfection that you have in your head, more often than not. everything falls short of perfection, which can leave people feeling defeated and deflated. However, if we see perfection as a journey and not an end goal. we can begin to breath. And if we take it a step further and realize that,wherever we are in the moment, we have perfection because it is an opportunity/gift of the moment. If things are in alignment or better than our fairy tale image, then its an opportunity to be grateful and make the most of it and actually enjoy our lives. And if it is uncomfortable and challenging, its an opportunity to be courageous by holding space for the emotional angst and mental masturbation your probably going through over i... or, even better, turning this lemon into lemonade, by making a lifestyle change to alter the course of where you are. And remember life is change, just because something is enjoyable and comfortable today doesn't mean it will stay that way...did I say Perfection is a journey.  So life is always givings us opportunities to practice and live perfection in action and not in our minds. I told you it brought my feisty up.

P!nk said in concert that she's omitting the F**kin (one of my favorite expletives) now that she's a mother. So I have another F word to substitute and although it would be a mouthful to sing it, I'll imagine she's singing Feistily perfect... So enjoy this too.

If It"s Good Enough For The Monkees

So yesterday's love fortune was  "I love to daydream about you in class."  So I'm not going to debate the veracity over this one and I'll give credit for creativity. So I'm a big proponent of dreaming. When I was leading New Moon New Life Ceremonies, I used to call the participants dream weavers manifesting their dreams into reality. I can't remember who to credit for the quote but it went something like this. "If you can dream it, you can imagine it.  If you can imagine it, you can manifest is."  Enough said. And when I was thinking last night of what to post I thought of this little diddy by the Monkees.

There is also the George Carlin quote, "They call it the American Dream because you need to be asleep to believe it."  Which goes to why day dreaming is even better an extra step to consciousness.  Did I tell you all that I can rationalize anything.

Although just before I decided to put my fingers to keyboard I remember a Camino story.  The way I found this quote while backpacking approx 175 miles through Spain was is a long one (that I'll tell anyone over a glass of wine) so I'm going to go straight to the treasure"0, which is this quote from Inspirational author, Paolo Coelho.   "Fight for your dreams, otherwise others will impose theirs on you" (It came with a graphic which I found at another synchronistic time via facebook a few months later as a reminder at a synchronistic time, but of course.  I cant find at the moment which came synchronistically and it's making me wonder my first experience is a dream but that's part of the story and I'm nothing if not resilient so I'll search later)  But while I was searching here is a random pic of something I found on the street which apparently is a genuine street graffiti by James De La Vega that I found while wondering the streets

Yes, I'm a fan of dreaming!!!

P.S.
Eureka, it wasn't a dream, well at least finding the picture on facebook wasn't the dream, the camino on the other hand may be up for debate...tee hee

P.P.S
Hah or should I say aha!!!  When I first was introduced to this quote I had an oh shit moment and said dang what is my dream it doesn't feel specific enough although I knew I was a big fan of dreams.  And I had to fight a littler harder to share this so maybe I am fighting for my dream after all...I considered myself more a lover than a fighter but in this case, I'll make an exception.  Ha, ha, ha, ha,.....

Geeks vs Dorks

So todays fortune is I love geeking out with you...this gave me a good laugh.  I often do call myself a pop culture nerd which neither of the gifters are although I guess one persons geek is another persons passion or cool.  This reminded me of a particular performance that P!nk did the other night when I saw her in concert, which was beyond amazing.  She did the following song telling people to do their worst dancing and she had a dork meter in the background.  This isn't the best quality video but it shows the dork meter  So if P!nk can be a dork, I'll be dork any day.

I was going to stop here but then I thought, hmmm let's consult the dictionary.  So yes and based on the anagram blog, I'm a word geek for sure.  But here is what the internet dictionary says.

geek

Noun

1.  An unfashionable or socially inept person.

2.  A person with an eccentric devotion to a particular interest.

I'll accept number 2 but not 1 (except I can be occasionally shy).  And based on this I'm a spinning geek too.  I may even be a green juice/smoothie geek...  I'm not so ashamed of these... and to prove that mostly I am the word geek...my mind couldn't let it go with that

I assumed that Geeks and dorks are similar.  According to Ask Yahoo which takes the comparison to include nerds.  We have,

Nerds are often aware of their status, but they don't mind. In fact, many take pride in the putdown, as it means they're smart and not wrapped up in superficial worries.
Geek is a more specific term. Back in the day, geeks worked at carnivals, and (according to the dictionary) "bit the heads off live chickens." Thankfully, the term now has a different connotation. Like nerds, geeks are smart, but they tend to focus more on technology. As Urban Dictionary explains, these are the people you make fun of in high school and later work for as an adult.
Being called a "dork" is the biggest insult of the three. There's no way you can spin it into something positive. After all, even the dictionary writes that dorks are "stupid" people. And to make matters worse, dorks assume they're cool." 

I don't think P!nk knew about the smelling comment but I'll be a proud geek.

Treat Your Mind Like an Anagram

So todays love fortune kind of perplexed me.  It was I love how bright you are.  It didn't perplex me because I didn't want to own it but I wasn't quite sure whether they meant because I'm bright and cheery or because I'm bright intelligent.  And I would say yes to both.  So my mind could have gone either way.

This reminds me of something that came to me the other day.  I've been playing a game on my kindle called Words.  To be honest I've been playing it a long time and it's a game about anagrams.  Your given a set of letters and create as many words out of it as you can.  And an anagram is when you can take the same letters of a word a convert it into something else.  A popular one which is just an inversion is stressed and desserts.  That is humorous since, let's face it, most of us like a little of that sweetness to turn our stress around.  However the two that made the aha was poems and mopes.  When I first read it, I went oh no...poems should never make mopes.  But then I said, aha, poems can certainly turn mopes into a happier disposition.

And not that I never got this before but it gave me a better metaphor on the stories our mind tells us.  There are so many times we make ASSUMPTIONS (yes you know what those lead to) about a persons actions meanwhile there can be a million other reasons.  Once a friend told me a story of how her brother had invited her mother and other relatives to something at his house and left her off the invite list.  She was totally pissed off about this and went on about the family dynamics.  Meanwhile she had been the caretaker of her aging and ailing mother and it was draining the hell out of her.  My story was that her brother realized that she was taking on most of the burden on taking care of the mother and by doing this, she was able to have some freedom and time for self care while the rest of them did some mom sitting.  That's just one of a myriad.  Unless we talk it out, we don't know but why do often chose the story that is going to pick the scab of one of our wounds.  Why don't we choose to see people in another way.  Why choose negativity when you can choose positivity?  So let's turn the stories we tell our selves into anagrams and I feel like I should have a really good anagram hear...but let's go on a quest together...

Don't Ever Say Never...

So yesterdays or actually the day before's love fortune was I love your sense of adventure...This makes me think of the Helen Keller quote "Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all."  And lets face it this is a woman who was given some challenges at birth being deaf, blind and mute...so everything was an adventure...and maybe everything is an adventure and we refuse to acknowledge it because we're jaded.  It goes back to looking at life as a child and everything being fresh then life always is an adventure.  Although now my motto is never say never...as I never expected my life to be filled with the from white water rafting in Glacier National Park to shamanic ceremony in the jungles of Peru to being called someones G at at hip hop club the other week (I have to admit I may have sense of adventure, I'm a pop culture nerd and  I had to google that on an online hip hop dictionary.)  Life has become like russian roulette...round and round she goes but where she goes, no one knows.  OK maybe I'm exaggerating.

Although I do take a little pride in getting this acknowledgement in my love fortune as I was a very fearful child and even teen.  More afraid of shame than danger, but fear none the less.  I love the an acronym that Fear is False Expectations Appearing Real.  And what I really loved is this little find from Facebook

I love this for many reasons.  One  is that it shows that everything is a choice in how we face fear.  Remember courage is not absence of fear, it's acknowledging the fear and doing it any way. I also love that they put it on dice (or do you see boggle cubes).  Dice because life is a chance and you never know how they roll.

Although there are lots of stories that exude this I'm going to share too.  One is the one that probably more formative for me in using fear to my advantage.  A new friend had asked me to go rock climbing. Central Park had a wall and was offering a class.  I was intrigued and didn't actually have fear as I saw it more as an exercise adventure.  But the first time we did this I got to a point and then fear set in.  I yelled down at the instructor that I think this is as high as I'm going to go.  He says to me you only have more step to hit the top.  I said really, o.k., and I took it.  I remember the adrenaline rushing a bit and the sense of thrill.  How many times are we just one step from reaching the top and we give up...

So that was the conscious sense of fear actually being a guide that I'm pushing my edge of comfortablity and how pushing it can stretch me in a profound way.  Another experience and it was conscious fear is that I got the idea that I should go to a town called Inferno in the Amazon of Peru by myself to spend a week, well 5 days, with an ayahuascaro that I hadn't met.  Ayahuasca is a visionary plant medicine and an amazing teacher.  I hadn't met but I knew my teacher and friends respected him highly so I wasn't that brave.  But I did know that I'd be sleeping in a sleeping bag, bathing in the river that you had to trudge up and down hill through mud which mad it hard to stay clean, and go to the bathroom in an outhouse that had some rotted planks and was amazed that I didn't wind up in the bottom.  So that certainly stretched my NYC princess gene.  Also the ayahuascero only spoke spanish and actually is was more like a spanish/quechua blend and my spanish is broken at best.  I was speaking to my teacher since I knew he would see the ayahuascero a few weeks earlier as he was bringing a group down.  I told him to put in a word for me and let him know who I was.  During my conversation with my teacher, he turns to me and says "do you know what your doing Lulu.  Your going to Inferno.  You know what Inferno means, Lulu.  It means Hell.  Your going to Hell."  And there is metaphor here as many people have some dark experiences on ayahuasca.  It is called the vine of death.  However, my few light experiences with it were not dark in the least and I was convinced I needed to understand my relationship with this plant teacher.  

I turned to my teacher and say, "I know what your doing.  Your trying to scare me.  And don't worry I'm already scared and I'm doing it anyway."  There was a glimmer in his eye, he smailed and we changed to another topic of conversation. 

I was going to end it hear but just in case your curious, it was an amazing experience.  There were some challenges, some purging and some deep aha's.  I'm glad I faced the fear.  The first night I defnitely had some of those, "Who the fuck do you think you are Lulu, your so brave and now look" and in the end it was great.  And each time I do that, I learn to trust myself and trust what life puts in front of me.

This was never on my bucket list.  Hell if you had asked me 5 years earlier, I couldn't have even told you what a shaman or ayahuascero was...never the less put it on a wish list.    Don't get me wrong, I don't say yes to everything I do but I don't ever say never.  

Back B-logged, Finding My Metaphorical Colonic

After going through this I feel like I need a warning...if you don't like poop metaphors you may want to skip this one...I don't get graphic but want to warn the more sensitive types...but if your really that sensitive your probably not reading my blog

Yes it's been a few days since I blogged and I got stumped...I didn't want to skip but interestingly the love fortune that said I love how you make me blush, kind of got me mentally blushing as I wasn't sure what to respond.  So maybe that's it not everything needs a response, shocking for someone who always seems to have a story or a metaphor.  And yesterdays was I love to hear you speak, and it's got to be the stories, because I have far from a lovely accent and I speak really fast most of the time. Another was I love you more than today...my gut reaction was I hope not...I don't need to be loved more than I just need to be love as much as...I mean today is important and if I'm part of a persons today than it should be all encompassing right...anyway you'd be better off reading the Power of Now than hear me blogging. Still feeling blog clogged...is there a colonic for blogging.

The love fortune that got things stirring (sorry for the shitty metaphor, tee hee, I couldn't resist but let's face it when I start with you can't make this shit up and this girl likes metaphors...) was I love when you introduce me to new things, and new is the spice of life although I always feel like I'm the anti-pop culturist so the new things that I share are probably things that are from my generation that seem new...so I guess nothing is new under the sun, we just re-style it. And that started me thinking about my blogging as it felt like I was about to repeat stories and my inner judge went yikes, are you out of fuel already and it was only 26 days of a potential 365.  What it got me thinking about is that we all probably have a handful even less then 10 but for the metaphor, I'll call them our personal 10 commandments of what is most important to us and everything else comes from that...sharing, gratitude and loving are definitely top three for me...so I'm going to ponder this.  But that was also when I realized I was back b-logged and also back logged as I have also promised to pass on love fortunes and I'm collecting.  I've given away less than half which isn't bad...and the slight perfectionist in me whats to make sure I give them wisely.

So this is my thought yesterday morning and then I had a you can't make this shit up moment.  I wound up going to lunch with a work associate.  I thought it was going to be quick in cafeteria and we had a bit of a comedy of errors as she wanted to go out so we were waiting in different places, yada, yada...  We talked some work but we got into more personal conversation and I'm not sure how we got here but I was telling her about the time I was a bone marrow donor and afterwards I went into existential angst about the potential butterfly effect I could have had...I could have save the 11 year old girls life and she would become a drunk driver and kill someones kid...or I saved her and she marries a man who beats her...no really folks this is where my mind went (see the Butterfly Effect and see if you don't get paralyzed at time).  After my friend told me that I had to separate myself from my dna that was in someone elses body, it helped.  So I shared about the movie.  She said she hates needles and prefers soup kitchens.  And I personally believe that multiple and consistent small volunteer opportunities are more impactful, which led me to sharing about the Love Letter Parties and the world needs more love letters.  We part.   I get the idea to gift her with a love fortune.  And rather than read through the collection in my love fortune purse, I use dharma pole and I get I love how friendly you are and it truly was the perfect one for her...in fact the others only tangentially applied.  But that is not the you can't make this shit up moment.  Rather than get right back to work, I take a peak at good old facebook which I limit while at work.  Well guess what.  The World Has More Love Letters and the post starts that the Butterfly Effect is at work.  Come on it feels like the universe is talking.  To be honest I don't know what this means except to make more love letters...but it was on the heals of another dream which I'm not going to share here about what I'm supposed to do when I grow up...but I also know that if it's not a direct message on the meaning of life for me, it is certainly one of those synchronistic moments that reminds that we're all connected and life is going perfectly even if we don't understand why.  Sometimes we have to get out of the forest to see the trees that were in front of our face...

And interestingly giving a love fortune seems to be my metaphorical colonic...so goes back to when you give and don't horde because your worried about your own shit...shit starts to flow in the best of ways.

My Fellow Aliens

Love fortune of the day is I love how we have so much in common.  Which is funny because I often feel of like an alien trying to figure out the rule book for earth.  If you want to understand more of what I mean check out the movie Green Beautiful (it's got french subtitles, but worth watching, not sure if you want to watch the whole movie from here but worth checking out). It will both touch your heart and make you laugh.  Fortunately I've found some other aliens...not necessarily from the same planet but we resonate.  And I do find that life on earth is more fun when we can share with others that can appreciate...so now I'm sharing and I hope you can appreciate.

Keep the Universe from Tilting Off It's Access...Take In the Sweetness

Still laughing at myself because as I read yesterdays love fortune, "I love how you accept compliments,"  I had the thought this is sarcasm right????  I certainly have gotten better at but know I'm a better giver than receiver...well maybe I need to change that old image because I've gotten better...I used to just turn them around which I may do a little but in truth...must be pretty good at receiving because I've got a lot of love in my life and I know that based on the law of abundance unless you are ready to receive the universe doesn't give it to you.  I remember getting very good advice on this a long time ago.  When someone does or says something kind, just say thank you that's so sweet of you...because when you acknowledge the sweetness, you are actually telling the universe your ready and willing to receive more.    It's about ayni which is the law of sacred reciprocity.  And if you don't acknowledge it, you are out of sync with the balance of giving and receiving...we don't want to have the universe tilt off it's world axis...just accept it...you don't have to believe what they say but you can take it in and relish in the fact that someone cared enough to be sweet to you...

Semantic-full

I really do have to laugh at myself and although yes I did have an awww how sweet moment when I read the love fortune, I love how thoughtful you are (the other day I'm behind...but the reason I may be behind because this one go my mind going)...I went to the word thoughtful.  Yes we all know that thoughtful means to be considerate of others, but to me I get it means to be full of thought...like grateful which is full of gratitude, right (maybe I'm channeling George Carlin)...I think the word originators were off on this one...and of course, thinking of this just activates my mind.  And then I did get myself to thinking of others so in that way I can be full of thoughts on what make others happier...and happier others means most likely they are easier to be around...

Now I'm thinking about prosperity consciousness and how people think of when you think of others you need to sacrifice yourself.  I mean I've gone there but in the end it's actually kind of selfish or knowing that life will be better in turn when you take others into consideration.  If your "thought-full-ness" makes them happier they are more likely to be more cooperative with you and more pleasurable to be around, hence increasing the abundant nature of the world.

Round and round she goes...where she ends you never know...now you know why I've adopted my nickname Lulu...I may have to change it legally.

You Attract More With Honey Than You Do With Vinegar

You can guess the love fortune on this one...I Love How Friendly You Are.  This makes me laugh because this is something that didn't come natural but happened over time and wasn't even intentional.  In fact, for the longest time, I would tell people that I'm shy...and they'd laugh at me...I'd argue, no really I'm shy at first and then all bets are off once I know you.  The story that I remember most was when I went on one of my first business trip.  So I was in my young 20's.  I was so much more update in my 20's then I am now...hell I was way more uptight in my teens and below...but I digress.

I was in Wichita, Kansas.  I get into an empty elevator to meet the rest of the people I was traveling with in the lobby.   The elevator stops in between floors to let someone in.  It's a stranger and as they get in they say hello.  I was shocked.  It wasn't hotel staff....I wanted to look over my shoulder, was there someone that I didn't see...who were they saying hello to me.  I realized it was odd but I still had my NY pride and to myself I rationalized it afterwards that if I said hello to everyone I pass in NYC, I'd be horse...so discretion is needed.  Plus you have to be careful...you don't really look people in the eye on the subways.  Although over time that has shifted and I actually wouldn't even describe myself as friendly but as some of the feedback I get, I'm beginning to believe that I'm not shy.  Friendly doesn't mean that you have to engage in full out conversations...friendly is in the tone of your voice, it's in your eyes when you interact...and I find that nine times out of ten the people you interact are even nicer and more helpful.  Sure there are the curmudgeons out there that just want to miserable no matter what and they are even more fun to be friendly with because they don't quite know how to deal with you.  And although I consider myself more of a lover than a fighter, I kind of consider myself more of a lover than a fighter...I like to try to kill people with kindness...not literally kill them but kill their inner curmudgeon for sure.  Why be bitter, it's exhausting and bad for the health.  And although I'm not sure my mother practiced what she preached, she used to say "You get more with honey than you do with vinegar."  Actually this may be the number one rule in the Lulu's Guide to Prosperity Consciousness?  And its really true, that is from my experience...  And it doesn't cost you anything to be friendly. Actually this may be the number one rule in the Lulu's Guide to Prosperity Consciousness?  

I would argue not being friendly actually costs you...the Soul needs friendly to keep the gates of your heart happy so that it can go out and play.

I think some people think it's a pride thing...I thought there was a pride be damned quote that I couldn't remember so I decided to look up some pride quotes and here is a few good ones:

"I would always rather be happy than dignified" - Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long, as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." and I would add in front of your face  - C.S. Lewis

"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need." - Kahlisl Gibran

"It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose someone you love with useless pride." - John Ruskin

"Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves." - Emily Bronte

Now I got the quote it's pride comes before the fall...it's a biblical quote...meaning if you get stuck in pride it will surely lead to doom.  OK I'm going to step back for a second here...maybe I made a leap could there be other things that keep you from being friendly.  You can be genuinely shy...but do you want to stay shy...start practicing.  Are you highly depressed?  Practicing friendliness may help...you can fake it but when you do you always feel it...so when your being friendly to others your actually being friendly to yourself.  And I'm also realizing that being friendly is an aspect of love and the first step to inviting a life filled with love.  And this reminds me of a Pooh quote I saw on on facebook today,

I mean meditation is fine and good...but enlightenment, shmightenment...true bliss comes from practicing what you preach start with a few extra hellos, smiles at strangers or adding it to the tone of your voice...  It's that simple...

Finding Your Pot of Gold

Yesterdays love fortune...I love your Aura.  Well I knew who to send that to, a friend who reads aura's and if I was able to see them must have a magnificent one.  But the first thing I think of is rainbows which are amazing and maybe if we connect with our aura which is basically our souls emanating our personal radiant rainbows.  And when I think of rainbows, I think muppets...so enjoy this

And as the leprauchans tell us follow the rainbow to your pot of gold and that's true...when you follow your Soul, you find your pot of gold.  I also know that owning my inner child (hence the muppets) helps me get there so much quicker.  Children are unjaded and find joy in the box that the gift comes in...try it, you may find that pot of gold!

Own Your Inner Artist

I have to say my inner judge came out big time on I Love How Talented You Are...first off I thought it's not like although I'm a pretty enthusiatic spinner I'm far from an olympian or I may be playfully creative but an artist or actress...they were really trying hard on this one.  Then well, maybe I do have some ceremonial talents.  It was hard to own talented because who is setting the bar.  I of course defaulted to ye old dictionary.

No surprise, Webster went to town,

1  a:  any of several ancient units of weight
    b:  a unit of value equal to the value of a talent of gold or silver
2  archaic : a characteristic feature, aptitude, or disposition of a person or animal
3  : the natural endowments of a person
3  a:  a special often athletic, creative or artistic aptitude
    b:  general intelligence or mental power:  ability
5  : a person of talent of a group of persons in a field or activity


Who knew about measurement of weight, but even they get into the athlete, artistic...who does the white turn to gray which turns to black..right????

And since I like simple, in it's simplest form it's a natural aptitude so I'm a natural at finding humor and laughing at life.  I also would go out and say I do have a talent on the generous and loving too but that's a work in progress and life devotion.  Ahhh, the beauty of semantics... I guess my attachment to talent was to the fact that there should be financial return for my talent or some sort of gold star or blue ribbon but I get blue ribbons in feedback all the time.  And actually the platinum stars are the friends and family I have in my life.

I also remembered reading once that there was a man who asked a group of kindergarden children to raise their hand if they were an artist.  Everyone raised their hand.  When he asked a room of adults he was lucky if 5% raised their hands.  What happened?  That made me said.  And the place that we are most artistic is our lives...we are creating our realities every day...so yes I'm an artist with many talents.

What Constitutes Touch

Yesterdays fortune was "I Love Your Healing Touch".  And it was timely because recently a few people I barely knew said how I inspired and influenced them and I certainly didn't try to...I just modeled a way of being and transformation for them.  So apparently I touched them without ever laying a hand or barely speaking to.  They just noticed things about me.

So the apparent touch is in a kiss or a hug (I'm big on the quality of hugs no burping allowed) or grasp of a hand.  But we truly we touch people when we say thank you or hello, when we smile at a stranger, just in the way we carry ourselves.  Sometimes this paralyzes me, because I think of the movie Butterfly Effect.  If you haven't seen it, I recommend but I do with caution.  The theme for the movie is that when a butterfly flaps a wing in one place it can cause a hurricane in another.  Yikes right.  I remember going through major fear of cause and effect.  I was a bone marrow donor and I hadn't even thought twice about donating.  It was for an 11 year old girl.  So there I definitely touched a life but I knew at the least I was just giving hope.  The recovery was painful and all of a sudden I had an oh shit feeling.  What did I do.  I just bought into the medical model that I don't believe in.  How machiavellian can healing get.  The reason she needed my bone marrow is because they radiated and chemoed her to such an extreme and then to get my bone marrow they needed to stab into my sacrum (granted I was put out during that part, but felt it afterwards) over and over to remove it.  Who thought of it.  And then, there is no guarantee that I helped her.  What if I did save her life and then she became a drunk driver and killed someone elses child.  Or she marries someone her beats her.  What did I do.  I literally started sobbing.  I got over it and then went back to all I can promise is hope and you can't guarantee how a person receives what you give them.  With organ donations there is a chance of rejection or as the quote says cause a hurricane...same thing with loving intention.  So it's important that our intentions are clear but that we have a greater awareness of the impact of the way we touch peoples live.

To Live from the heart or Jump Off A Cliff, That Is The Question

I'm double blogging because this one is easy, breezy and it's a Sunday so I have more time...love fortune is I love how you live from the heart.  And that is true whether my heart is happy or not...I kind of wear it on my sleeve.  Some people may call it sloppy but I call it honest and the only way I know.  Without much thinking, the following immediately came to mind:

This one, I really love...I can't remember who to credit for sharing it with me, but I know it's from Matt Groenig's Life in Hell.  This is sadly true, that some people would rather jump off the cliff than share intimacy and vulnerability (which is the ultimate courage).  Also ironic because I believe that life is bliss if you let it, so I guess it can feel like your in hell too if you let it.  But I also like Winston Churchill's quote, "If you find yourself in hell, keep going."  So perhaps that is a jump off the cliff, but then again that's what the wisdom of the fool and his leap of faith in the Tarot represents...so perhaps intimacy is like jumping off the cliff but if we're luck we land on a pile of feathers and don't go squish.

My Fruit Loops Put The Extraordinary (aka Woo Hoo) in My Life

Funny I didn't think yesterdays fortune was going to lead to such an extensive blog.

So the love fortune for yesterday was, I love you your love of Danny.  And I laughed since the gift came from Danny and Austin.  And either Danny is a narcissist and to do what he does as spin instructor extraordinaire he certainly needs a healthy ego but I'm guessing Austin wrote that one - who in truth is a good person to model being loving after.  He's love of Danny is what I want a man to have for me and he's right, I do love that man...sometimes I wonder if I need some therapy...but I've rationalized it that I was his mother, aunt or sister in a previous life.  It's also been a theme in the past week because I'm always amazed at the people who pop into our lives and how there is like a tribal chemistry that makes some people more like family than others and it's way more than just character traits.  There are people, that I haven't known very long or very well, that I would jump through hoops for, and others not so much.  So here is the man I am loved for loving

Danny and his hairy balls

Danny in a beauty pageant pose with his bouquet of hairy balls (I'm not making that up, they are called that and there is a short story there but lets take the giggle).  Now I'm wondering if there is an I love your love of Austin love fortune in there but it may take another 361 days to find out as I read them one by one.  So let's honor them....

Danny and Austin - My Fruit Loops

There's a story with the fruit loop mugs.  We'll keep it brief but let's just say Marilyn Gonzalez had this amazing experience where a stranger offered her a hug at a time when she needed it and then he gifted her with some wisdom.  Be a fruit loop in a world of cheerio's...it's a lot more interesting.  So let's share Marilyn too.  I love this story and have hijacked it to share with as many people as possible.

Chief Fruit Loop and Hi Jacker of Story

So now after all this sharing of amazing people in my life, we get to the thing that inspired todays blog.  My mind really is like russian roulette, round and round she goes and where she stops you never know.  Actually feels like this mind doesn't stop at all but when I step back, it can be entertaining.  Let's get this train back on track....

As I was browsing through Facebook this morning, I found this.

I laughed for many reasons.  One was that earlier, I had a daily assignment from a gratitude experiment I've been playing around with.  And was asked to talk about the groups I belong to that I'm grateful for.  And as much as my friends as Soul are not an official group, they have become my tribe (see I can go full circle) so isn't this synchronistic.

I also recalled when a psychic friend told me that I make the ordinary extraordinary (I humbly share this with you) ...which lead me to my testament that I like to put the woo hoo in woo woo.  And in spin class, although not woo woo, I certainly woo hoo (literally scream out woo hoo) a hell of a lot.  And although the endorphin high of spinning puts the woo hoo in my life, in truth,  it's really the members of my tribe as the are the right people for me.  Above is only three of an extensive tribe all of whom are obviously not included.  So I guess my tribe is called tribe fruit loop.  OK, if you haven't figured it out, in the Lulu thesaurus, extraordinary is a synonym for Woo Hoo. And like I said, Fruit Loops put the Woo Hoo in my life for sure.  Think the cereal wants to change your motto...tee hee...

Am I A.D.D or Focus Agile????

Todays love fortune is "I love how you don't take anything too seriously."  Well that was a piece of humble pie because if you read yesterdays post I had labeled it a shitty day.  I do say good thing is that I don't stay serious for too long.  My theory is that we can turn our circumstances into a bad story or a good story, it's a matter of perspective so why focus on the depressing bad right...it just exhausts me and wants me to nap my way through life   But before I go off on that point, I also want to say, you shouldn't ignore the heavy feelings...it's important to acknowledge and in knowing how your really feel act consciously and with awarenes...it's like the definition of courage.  Courage isn't the absence of fear it's having fear and acting anyway...acting with consciousness.  After all Cour comes from the french word heart so it's acting with heart.  That may not be what Webster's says but remember I focus agile...

So it was tough few days.  I found out that a friend of mine had a terrible and shocking loss in her family.  Something to take seriously.  Then although not a surprise that my corporate day job announces relocation to Raleigh N.C. but they can't tell us when and exactly how we're impacted.  Did I tell you I've been there 25 years and I may even have to re-apply for my job. Although I'm not surprised (because this was the best not kept secret in America), there was the reality of the announcement and what is coming sometime in the next 2 1/2 years.  Yes they couldn't be more specific.  I realize I have choices which is more empowering than not coming up with choices but I went to the woe is me for a bit or more like what the fuck have you created.  The negative thoughts were on rapid fire, have I been complacent in my life...oh shit, I have to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.  I should say when I grow older because, I don't think the growing up is happening.

In addition, I'm also surrounded by tons of other people who are more shocked than I and perhaps not as responsible with how they splay their emotions.  And when they share there negativity, part of me goes shit I never thought of that vs. poor pessimistic souls.  Hard to be around when your an empath and a natural care taker, so needless to say I was exhausted and filled with a plenty of negative stories in my head.  Also during all this ordeal, someone I was working at trying to get someone hired permanently.  Let's just say it didn't work out and wound up losing her job immediately while having other challenging life circumstances that made it a bit more devastating for them.  Could my heart break for others any more while breaking for myself? (OK that was dramatic, more on myself than on the others)

Yesterday I shared the pretty tree picture which helped but not the panacea.  So yesterday morning, I'm on the platform for the F train.  I decide to walk down to the other end so I will be near the staircase I want to get off at when I get to 42nd Street.  So I walk and as I look up the stairs I see this large homeless main and I notice a shadow waving (floppily may I say) by his belly and his shirt is lifted slightly.  Pants are low but not completely down.  But as a typical New Yorker, I keep on walking.  Well I realize that was the mans junk waving in the wind.  I just giggle and keep on going.  I guess I could have been offended so maybe I don't take things that seriously.  But keep going...

So I'm at my day job and happen to mention the morning experience to someone, who to be truthful, I normally wouldn't share this experience with.  The thought of a homeless guy lead him to tell me of a story that his 8 year old daughter was doing as a current events piece in school that day.  I'm going to give you highlights with link to stories and more.  Apparently there was a woman who dumped her purse and all it's contents (assuming just change) into the man's cup.  24 hours later she realizes her platinum diamond ring was in that purse.  She and her husband run to the same location, yes he was there and as soon as he saw her he returned the ring.  He even went to pawn shop but when the guy said was real and offered $4,000 (for a ring worth more like $174,000, not that homeless man Billy Ray Harris knew this), he just couldn't take the money.  So husband & wife share story with press and husband took action to create give forward site to raise money for Billy Ray.  His goal was $1,000 in 90 days and he has raised more than the ring was worth and there are still 69 days left.  Here is the link to give forward  Yes he has already raised more than anticipated and some people may say he has enough, I donated, fairly generously, because I believe in supporting generosity.  I also know that when you give selflessly you can receive in the most unexpected ways.  Well stories like this gave me perspective.  So here is an internet story with exact details but this gets better because the man's sister who hadn't seen him in 16 years and presumed him dead, sees the story and is reunite.  So you never know what comes out of any situation or how long it stays.  So like I said, am I just agile and darting from perspective (or delusion your choice or words) or do I just have attention deficit disorder.  I'm choosing the former because it keeps me lighter and able to move forward and create change in my life.

And this may be a bit of patting myself on the back, but I do know that this is something that is appreciated about me...a few weeks ago I asked some friends to help me describe myself for an online dating site.  I just don't like putting myself in box, but I asked that if they met someone that they wanted to introduce me to, how would they describe me.  "Lulu is fun-loving in a way few people I know are.  She is spontaneous and soulful, present and enthusiastic.  She´s able to take the meaningful things in life very seriously-- health, love, help of others-- while never taking herself too seriously.  This is as rare as it is charming and valuable"  So maybe this is an opportunity to pat myself on the back but it's also reminding me that I don't always see myself like this and can go to the harsh.  And part of me wanted to say, what he doesn't see me as hot and sexy...ha, but see where that trickster mind can take us.  Let's all be more Focus Agile...

I am going to think God said, "Uh oh, we're going to lose Lulu to the pessimists, we better give her something to be optimistic about."  And when stories like this don't fall into your lap, I'm going to give you my secret panacea.  It's a funny (hysterical) alien movie called Paul.  This movie will get me out of my biggest despair.  It was share to with me when my soul sister passed away and I felt like all the air was kicked out of me. It was another way to be focus agile and besides laughter helps you breath, hell you can't laugh without breathing and breathing means your alive and ....  Uh oh, about to turn this into a novella...  If you need a laugh, check it out...

 Try it and if you don't like, I'm sure there's another one out there

It is the LIttle Things That Count

I think I'm still stuck on yesterdays line about surprising me and I guess I surprised myself.  And todays love fortune is I love how your find the strangest and smallest things interesting and I guess they do.  So today was a really shitty day.  I was holding space for lots of people going through their own stuff and then had some major hits too.  And despite wanting to go to bed and put the cover over my head and cry, which I'm not against, I knew I needed a second spin class.  I am typically quite vocal with a lot of woo hoo's.  I was so into myself I started a little quiet but then I realized how something as simple as a woot or woo hoo shifted the energy.  I can't say I wanted to dance a jig, but felt lighter and was able to put things in perspective. Oh yeah, and on my way to the spin class I bumped into a person in my apartment that I surprise gifted a love fortune too.  As soon as she saw me she said was it me.  I played dumb but I'm not good at surprises. She was over the top delighted.  I told her how it was gifted and what really was a small gesture on my part could make someone feel so good made me feel good and helped me get out of my shit and get some perspective too.  But the piece that really made me feel good was as I was walking past Stuyvesant Park.  A street light was shining through the bare branches of a tree whose whispery branches looked circular and they had drops of water from the rain/snow.  It was stunning and kind of looked like a spider web which had all sorts of metaphors.  Not sure this picture does it justice but it makes my heart happy to remember that something as simple as that can shift my mood, give me perspective so I can breath and move forward.  It almost looks like something from outer space doesn't it.

Life, A Cornucopia of Cracker Jack Surprises

So todays, love fortune is "I love how much you surprise me.".  Well I guess I can surprise people in the best and worst of ways but always shoot for the best but understand that life is a process.  I started today with a dichotomy.  I knew I was going to have a challenging conversation with my boss and I was having a celebratory dinner with a friend.  Well the friend had to cancel because of a death of her brother Jeff.  Guess the name of my boss.  Yes, it begins with J and ends in F.  That conversation was better than expected and in the end I wound up seeing my friend and instead I got to celebrate her in all her pain and got to know her on a deeper level than it may have taken on a superficial ongoing level.  I'm grateful that she let me be there for her, because, I know I'm not so generous on receiving the gifts that friends want to give.  Today was a blessed day in the pain and the glory.  As it should be.

Opposite Sides of the Same Coin

Yesterday's love fortune. "I love the fire in your eyes". Half hour later someone was a little less then considerate and boy was there fire in my eyes. Tee hee, not what I think was meant. Opposite side of same coin. Guess I have tonight's blog topic. But even better on the look out for a hot stud to pass it on to. This could be a great pick up trick. This really is the gift that keeps on giggling. Actually laughing out loud.  

I actually posted this in FB already so I feel like I'm cheating but I'll enhance.  A lot of us like to focus on one end of the pendulum and that can leave us out of whack.  And life isn't black and white and many of us fall within a spectrum between Saint and Devil and few hit the extremes.  However, it is important to recognize that we all have the ability to experience both.  And in order to really be free of the power that any of it has over any of us we need to own that.  Having it in you, doesn't mean you can't be responsible for how your express it.

As a child of a rager, I denied or shoved down the angry parts within me.  And ironically (well maybe not but I'll keep going) as part of my Polarity studies where we are talking about healing and we were doing a major completion practice, somebody says something to me which pushed one of my buttons. I reacted a little there but did I steam afterwords.  I was so pissed I wanted emasculate the person.  And I was sobbing because I was so pissed.  That is my internal fire suppression system under extreme angry.  (That being said I cry from joy and sadness too...but if you realize I'm crying from being pissed off, run for the hills.)  I actually acted more responsibly to the person than I felt inside and the part inside me scared the shit out of me at first and then I found it incredibly empowering.  I learned what a force it can be and I can control it or it can control me.

It's also been my experience if you can withstand the uncomfortability that happens when you hold two opposite extremes taught like a rubber band  magic can happen.  If you can get past the belief that you have two disparate thoughts and allow yourself to be creative, a whole new possibility can come about.  As Einstein says, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that caused it."  Sounds obvious, yet....

One Persons Medicine is Another Persons Poison

So today's love fortune was "I Love Your Healing Presence".  And right after receiving this I was walking to an early morning spin class.  The first thing I saw was a perfect half moon.  It was stunning and I realized what a healing presence the moon is for me.   Or perhaps I should say re-realized.  Actually she and I had a little talk and now I have some other commitments with her.

I also thought of the people who are healing presence partially just for gratitude and also to think of a re-gifting opportunity.  There was a friend (well several that came to mind) but an administrative assistant for an executive in the office.  I actually added Joyful healing presence and I gave it to her.  I explained to her how I received it and she was so delighted.  She actually said you need to keep this and I just said, nope thems the rules, pay it forward.  So I believe that was healing for her.  And in some ways I'm going to what isn't as long as you learn from it.  I guess the quote that comes to mind now is "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  That may not sound very gentle but it is empowering and gets us out of victimhood which is transformational.

Lucky to Love

Today's Love Fortune, is I love you more than yesterday and well these are the people I love more and more every day (there are more but these are the ones I had handy, some still in 3d, some not, but the love doesn't end...)

`

Believe

Todays blog but yesterdays love fortune is "I love how strongly you hold to your beliefs".  And I laugh because my favorite quote from my teacher is, "Would you rather speak to someone who is coming from their experiences or from their beliefs...because you know, a belief system is just b.s."  I love me the profane metaphors and how true.  So am I filled of BS  maybe sometimes but mostly what is perceived as my beliefs is actually coming from my experiences and how I've integrated or aka rationalized them.  So I'll often share something with that's my story and I'm sticking with it, at least for now because let's face it my beliefs have evolved.  But the one thing I believe in is magic.  And magic is just the law of cause and effects puppet show and we can't see the strings or can't figure out how the magician cut the lady in half and put her back together.  Life is one big illusion albeit a very persistent one.

And this morning when I was thinking let me hold off on the blog, I found two great things on Facebook.  So thank you Esther Kim for posting this story of how a couple found their child in a subway.

And this Soul Pancake youtube video.  I'm on a quest for this ball pit with profound questions.  This actually goes back to yesterdays love fortune on how I can talk for hours.  This would help me with my idle chit chat and I can make new friends.  Click here and your heart will smile.