Journey Home

So affirmations come in all forms.  As you know from reading my prior blog, I went on a burlesque journey as metaphor to embody more comfort in feeling a little (well know a lotta) naked and vulnerable in my life right now.  And now there isn’t more left to have complete ease but this was one of the most empowering experiences of my life.  I intentionally went outside my comfort zone to become more comfortable with the uncomfortable.  As one of my teachers says, you never know your edge unless you step beyond it.  The 5 days were chock-full of firsts for Lulu and lessons, which include but is not limited to nor put in order of significance:

Signing up for this experience when I hadn’t met any of the people.  Nevertheless Vegas was never on my bucket list.  Well maybe to see some Cirque du Soleil shows but I wound up not going to one and not sorry at all because now I have a new brave, bold, talented, supportive & good hearted Burlesque family.  

My first live public burlesque group performance.  This was scary. Heck I haven’t had to learn a “routine” since dance classes in high school.  It was truly exhilarating

Taking the Slotzilla ZipLine at the Freemont Ave. Experience.  As many of you know I’m prone to squealing out a Wheeeeeee!!!! to express my elation.  This was inspired by of Maxwell the Geico pig.   And a few months ago, I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to go ziplining as another metaphor for embodying thrill and surrender.  I was thinking that I was going to go to Costa Rica.  When I found out that they had one on the old Vegas strip, I just laughed to myself and said, “Of course, my first zip experience is going to be in Vegas instead of a rain forest”  A perfect blending of the sacred and profane.  

Doing my own stage makeup including false eye lashes.  I was pretty much terrified that I was going to look ghastly.  During the week we even had Darby Fox give a make up lesson.  She was a plethora of all this amazing make up knowledge which included white eyeliner, eyebrow shaping, contouring, false eyelashes, glitter...., I was like a dear in headlights.   I couldn’t even jot down notes.  I just hoped my cells were taking it in since my cognitive skills were in stun mode.  That being said, I rocked it if I do say so myself.  I got some positive feedback or perhaps they were being nice.   But I’m proud.  

Visiting the Burlesque Hall of Fame (BHoF).  A few months back when I first learned that it even existed, it became top of my bucket list.  I even thought of planning my own pilgrimage to Vegas but glad I waited for the Burlesque Bikini Camp.  The BHoF was the size of a room and a half.  But as they say size doesn't matter and I can’t minimize the effect of being in the energy of all those legends.  Just being in the energy of it was titillating.  Well that and declaring my burlesque name by signing it in the guest book.   Picture  Although Lulu on it’s own works as a stage name, most people in Burlesque have a play on first and last names.  It needs to be unique, in case a promoter or agent wants to find me after seeing me perform.  I don’t want them to go to another Lulu by mistake (I can’t believe I’m being bold enough to type that last sentence).  I did some research and, just so happens, there is already another Lulu in the Burlesque world. I played with many combinations and wasn’t sure before I left for Vegas.  But as soon as I stood in front of the guest book, I knew I was Lulu Lemoncello, because I’m tart and intoxicating.  (Again I wonder who I’m channeling this as I type this.  As  Paul Walker says, Go Big or Go Home)

Oh and also very exciting is I had a drink named after me....we’ll see if it makes the menu.  After our visit to the BHoF we went to a local place for cocktails called Downtown Cocktail Room.  After the Rhubarb Refresher from the cocktail menu, I asked the bartender if he had anything spicy.  I said, I like tart and spicy....like me.  He offered to create one special.  It was love at first sip.  When I ordered a 2nd, I told him he had to name it after me.  We decided on Lulu Lemoncello so he may tweak it to include Lemoncello which may be just as yummy but I wasn’t up for a 4th drink.  The recipe and name made it into his black book for mixology recipes. I’ll have to go back to see if it makes the menu.

And although I have a lot of words above, I’m sure I still don’t have a full understanding of the impact.  The main word that comes to mind is FREEDOM.   It's as if my past restrictive  thought patterns and mindset were deprogrammed.  And I say DEprogrammed and not REprogrammed as I feel more like a blank canvas ready to paint my new life that may include burlesque (I'm pretty sure it will as I keep thinking up costumes and characters as I listen to my iPod) and certainly will include many other yet to determined possibilities. The next word is  CONFIDENT.  I certainly feel more confident.  I don’t think I even walk the same anymore.  I can’t stop posing and I’m constantly imagining poses and steps to almost every song I hear.

I hadn’t even planned on blogging about all this quite yet or even ever; however, I had a You Can’t Make This Shit Up (YCMTSU) experience.  I pulled out my kindle for some reading on the plane.   I had many options and chose Planet Walker:  22 Years of Walking, 17 Years of Silence by John Francis.  I had bought it weeks ago but had delayed reading it for no apparent reasons except that perhaps I needed to read the opening quote by Thomas Merton exactly when I did - As I was taking off for My Journey Home from my Vegas Burlesque Pilgrimage 

 “The geographical pilgrimage is the symbolic acting out of an inner journey.  The inner journey is the interpolation of the meaning and signs of the outer pilgrimage, one can have one without the other.  It’s best to have both.”  

I certainly can’t argue with Mr. Merton.  I certainly am not qualified to to judge best vs worst, but I do know that this has been my personal experience.  For me, the inner journey integration takes a bit longer than the physical journey with lightbulbs of recognition and understanding that unfold and eventually you get the full marquee.  And this means you get to savor all the geographical pilgrimage provided throughout the entire integration process which makes it even yummier and longer lasting than the physical pilgrimage.  But be careful not to be too attached or dogmatic, as the experience can go from fresh to stale.