Not to fret, I’m not going to go into a discourse on physics, because just about anyone can out knowledge me on that one but this is what I’ve been thinking of, perspective and how mine seems to have shifted.
O.K., I know I keep talking about my clowning trip and the immense joy and freedom that has resulted. I should probably just accept it and move on, yet I want to understand why this felt unique and life changing. The reason I’m so awestruck by the effect of this heart-blowing experience is that historically after a major loving experience, I would inevitably experience a contraction shortly afterwards. I would have a min-freak out. Not a bad freak-out to have huh? Call 911 - Help I just experienced a drive by shooting of intense unconditional love. It sounds silly but it was true. After a major mystical and loving experience, I felt that I didn’t have the ability to chop wood and carry water afterwards. What was I supposed to do with all this love. My solution, out of old patterning, was to make myself and my love small and contracted. This didn’t leave a lot of room for joy.
So what also makes this experience unique is that, not only did I stay expanded around the love, but the interesting thing is that the less than pleasant experiences that have occurred in the last three weeks haven’t made me contract either.
Some may want to call this denial; however, since I’ve been back my life has certainly been less than absolutely perfect. Shit has happened. Without getting into details, certain events of a similar catastrophic size would have put me into moderate despair in the past. It would have been really hard to feel the love no matter what tools I pulled out of my back of tricks. However, this time when the less than pleasant experiences happened, I was able to experience both the container of joy and the sadness/frustration at the same time. Hmmm, this intrigued me.
I wanted to understand why this was so different. So I did some research and inquired with my friends from the clowning trip. In sharing my experiences with my fellow clowns, I came to a personal AHA!
So here goes, Lulu’s Theory of the Pink Elephant. Unlike Einstein I don’t think there is a Nobel Peace Prize in my future, but thought I would share. Whether an experience is bliss or shit, it’s kind of like the pink elephant in the room. No matter what you do, it’s there. Not to state the obvious, but the room is a container. As human beings, our emotional and mental bodies act as a container for all of our life experiences. We experience it and typically we label it as good or bad, insignificant, moderate or intense….you get the picture. So perhaps the judgment and attachment to the labels is also an issue but no matter what the experience our container needs to digest the experience to make room for more. Heck the digestion of our mental and emotional body is our way of processing life.
If the experience is huge and intense, it is like an elephant. How do you digest an elephant, one bite at a time. However, if the container is small – the elephant is cramped, there is no circulation, you get indigestion and all you can think of is this elephant in your gut. However, if the container is large and accepting enough, there is space. Keeps things in perspective. I would even go as far as saying that space is equal to love and acceptance. It gives you perspective and tolerance, which are certainly attributes at the top of my wish list.
O.K., I know I keep talking about my clowning trip and the immense joy and freedom that has resulted. I should probably just accept it and move on, yet I want to understand why this felt unique and life changing. The reason I’m so awestruck by the effect of this heart-blowing experience is that historically after a major loving experience, I would inevitably experience a contraction shortly afterwards. I would have a min-freak out. Not a bad freak-out to have huh? Call 911 - Help I just experienced a drive by shooting of intense unconditional love. It sounds silly but it was true. After a major mystical and loving experience, I felt that I didn’t have the ability to chop wood and carry water afterwards. What was I supposed to do with all this love. My solution, out of old patterning, was to make myself and my love small and contracted. This didn’t leave a lot of room for joy.
So what also makes this experience unique is that, not only did I stay expanded around the love, but the interesting thing is that the less than pleasant experiences that have occurred in the last three weeks haven’t made me contract either.
Some may want to call this denial; however, since I’ve been back my life has certainly been less than absolutely perfect. Shit has happened. Without getting into details, certain events of a similar catastrophic size would have put me into moderate despair in the past. It would have been really hard to feel the love no matter what tools I pulled out of my back of tricks. However, this time when the less than pleasant experiences happened, I was able to experience both the container of joy and the sadness/frustration at the same time. Hmmm, this intrigued me.
I wanted to understand why this was so different. So I did some research and inquired with my friends from the clowning trip. In sharing my experiences with my fellow clowns, I came to a personal AHA!
So here goes, Lulu’s Theory of the Pink Elephant. Unlike Einstein I don’t think there is a Nobel Peace Prize in my future, but thought I would share. Whether an experience is bliss or shit, it’s kind of like the pink elephant in the room. No matter what you do, it’s there. Not to state the obvious, but the room is a container. As human beings, our emotional and mental bodies act as a container for all of our life experiences. We experience it and typically we label it as good or bad, insignificant, moderate or intense….you get the picture. So perhaps the judgment and attachment to the labels is also an issue but no matter what the experience our container needs to digest the experience to make room for more. Heck the digestion of our mental and emotional body is our way of processing life.
If the experience is huge and intense, it is like an elephant. How do you digest an elephant, one bite at a time. However, if the container is small – the elephant is cramped, there is no circulation, you get indigestion and all you can think of is this elephant in your gut. However, if the container is large and accepting enough, there is space. Keeps things in perspective. I would even go as far as saying that space is equal to love and acceptance. It gives you perspective and tolerance, which are certainly attributes at the top of my wish list.
Posts
Loving Lulu,
ReplyDeleteI don't Einstein very well. I think that my feeling of joy, freedom and the loving expierence that I had on the Tour with Patch Adams was realy a unique one that my life realy set on fire. In a positive way, the fire of following my passion and helping others to fullfill their biggest potential.
My dreams of what I can achieve with the Creative World evolves by the day. I tought lets wait with sharing until I land on earth and I can share a more realistic dream to fulfill. But no my dreams are as big as they want and they are as normal a tree full of apples in the summer.
Next year I will make Creative World Projects to Bosnia, Costa Rica and India. THis afternoon I was asked to do also in Georgia and Romania. I am giving lectures, workshops and use my clown, I talk about love, share Patch' 1 minute clowncourse: When you have the twinkle in your eys, smile on your face and the willingness to greet. I play with a group of 40 entrepreneurs. I create social projects in my town, I organise a congres social entrepreneurship on oct. 22. Last week we opened a moneyprintingstudio for young people in Utrecht in the spirit of Dave Eggers(once upon a school)
I live my dream of love, caring, designing new societies, playing with creativity, making connections with people all over the world and thinking of visiting Patch in Milan(It) at the end of november.
LuLu I love you
Rik