Eyes Are The Doorway to the Soul

So this probably doesn't qualify as a YCMTSU (you can't make this shit up) moment but feels like enough of an aha to share.  Why do I always qualify?  Anyway, I was looking upon some photos on my ipad to do some memory clean up and stumbled upon this one

I had taken it after finally buying a simple pair of drug store magnification classes after a year or two of needing to use my iPhone flashlight to read menu's in restaurants with small print and/or mood lighting and putting items back on supermarket shelves when I couldn't read the ingredients.   I figured it was time to embrace it but, in truth,  I took this a few months ago and only just showing it now.

So what is the vanity about after all it's not like I need coke glass style glasses there only 1X magnification that I was able to get at Duane Reade.  I remember going to the optometrist at least two years before I actually made the purchases.  First thing the assistant said was "Yyep this happens with age."  Well  my inner voice was cursing her out and saying that may be true for others but I refuse to accepts this.  After all healthy diets and exercise can cure more serious diseases and you can't tell me there is nothing I can do to help my eyes restore themselves.  Well I had finally sucked it up but the aha comes as I was looking at this picture and my resistance to needing a little help.  Well we can go to vanity as  my excuse I don't really have a "glasses" face, but that's not it (although I made sure to crop out a few gray hairs that showed in the full picture which is probably why I waited a few months to post).  Although I had always prided myself on having better than perfect vision in a family of people that did not, the big AHA came when I realized that my frustration over my literal loss of vision was really my frustration at my loss of life vision.   I've always pondered what I should do that would feed my soul as until then my job pretty much feeder my wallet that then fed the experiences I had that fed my soul.  It feels that in the past few years I have been crossing off things  from the list of ideas that I thought I might be doing in my next lifetime, in this body, more than adding or, more so, locking down.  And it scares me that I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do next and I feel the clock ticking louder as my current career ends in February of 2015.  So now I understand the vanity was fear of acknowledging my fear.  And what this told me is maybe I need a little help and magnification and I'l admit, I'm way better at offering help than asking for it.  So I don't know what the career version of magnifiers/glasses are but am open and am not going to push it away.  Well I have lots of ideas and am going to explore different classes or lectures or trips or…………….that may get those creative juices and perhaps open those doorways so I can see what I need when it's time.  And if the eyes are the doorway to the soul, maybe some metaphorical glasses will help me hear my soul more clearly and let me know what she really wants to do when I grow up.  In the meantime, I will let go of all more baggage and vanity and play and go Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Found this gem after I posted this. So it's confirmed, Everything is connected, whether you see it or not, but is delightful when you can

Born Naked...My New Personal Anthem

For a while now, I've been thinking about starting a new blog site called You Can’t Make This Shit Up aka the Universe Is Conspiring To Help You, but I already had the Lulu Loving Life site and in truth one of the reasons that I love life is that I get delighted when events that are seemingly disparate, line up in a way that is way more the coincidental and feels like the universe is giving me a sign or, at least, being my cheerleader and providing encouragement.   Sometimes the sign is a significant message and sometimes it’s just the universe saying you’re on the right track (aka hey girl hey)  or that yes the events and relationships in our lives are very connected, which then gives me more trust and faith and let’s face it, it always helps to fill up our trust and faith gas tanks. 

And each time I think I should blog this,  my humility, or perhaps fear, says, "Who Cares?!?".  Well, I do.  And personally, I’m going through a major transformation aka shamanic death of my career and hence my identity. Which means looking closely at who I am and trying to figure out what to do when I grow up.  Yes, I know….I don’t plan on growing up, so perhaps I’m not asking the right question but you get the point. 

So as these YCMTSU (acronym for You Can’t Make This Shit Up) moments  come up I believe that documenting these will help me through this process.  Doing nothing certainly isn’t helping it.  And it may be a personal process but if my sharing can ignite something that is empowering to you…well….woo hoo!!!  I also believe that the universe is doing this all the time…we just don’t always notice.  But the more we acknowledge them, the more they seem to happen. So I’m just going to blog as they happen now daily, weekly, monthly commitment to blogging.  OK Lulu stop rationalizing why your blogging and now the event….

So today I woke up in my hotel in Raleigh.  For some musical accompaniment while I putzed around, I tried to get my itunes playing on my iPad but for some reason even though I hit play and the volume was way up, it wouldn’t play.  So I just let it go.  About ½ hour later, I sit down to meditate, which I'm doing to help my process as well and just a little bit of sanity. About 5 minutes into my meditation, my iPod starts blaring the song, Born Naked by RuPaul (which was not the song that I had left it on). So as I’m meditating, I hear “Who do you think you are?”  And my answer that would be damned if I know and that’s what I’m trying to figure.  Well I jump up to turn it off while laughing and go back to meditating.  In retrospective, I wish I decided to strip and dance to the song naked and made that my meditation.  Maybe later.

So after the meditation I realize this song is “a sign”.  So I decided to play it on my iPod on my drive to the office.  Actually I  played it over and over because I wanted to "get" the lyrics because it was a sign from the universe.  And because I’m focusing on the lyrics, I pass my exit and get a bit lost.  And, instead of getting pissed, I laugh because it seems quite appropriate because I’m feeling pretty lost in life.  And I finally got myself turned around and where I needed to be.  So this wasn’t a blatant sign saying with the voice of God saying, "Lulu you should do...."  Or maybe it was and I'm supposed to take up burlesque. Certainly, metaphorically, I t’s time to strip my ego of my current drag of who I think I am and get naked to put on a whole new Lu.

I wanted to paste a you tube video of the song but alas I couldn't find it. I guess I have to talk to Ru. And my favorite line is “We’re all born naked and the rest is drag.”  And there's a lot more potent metaphors in there. I recommend buying the entire album myself and dance naked, of course. 

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Beauty of Gray

I didn't think I was going to have much to blog about the I love how you always keep your cool as I didn't believe it.  Well I don't think anyone ALWAYS does everything but that's semantics...I guess I do relative to others or I hide the inner turmoil.  I also no that having a tantrum doesn't help and to be honest I can be overly flexible...the thing I hold is that nothing is black and white and there is room for many perceptions and personal truths.  And as the lyrics to one of my favorite song says.

This is not a black and white world

You can't afford to believe in your side.

This is not a black and white world

To be Alive

I say the colors must swirl

And I believe 

That maybe today

We will all get to appreciate

The beauty of gray

And here is the video

Live Like Its Heaven On Earth

I know I've been off the blog schedule...it was a tough lunar eclipse...have to admit I'm still reintegrating from a blissful and out of body shamanic retreat.  Then I kicked off a Reboot 6 week program that involves some diet cleansing...and it's funny because I didn't anticipate it to rock me as much as it has because I already incorporate a lot of it...but that has been working on clearing me out so I can be clear in life...I did this all while the lunar eclipse was playing emotional havoc in my life...

Yes I admit it couldn't play havoc unless I had some less the pristine emotions and self doubts...yet it felt a bit overwhelming.  The good thing when the overwhelm stops...is that you can fill up on your trust storage...trust in that challenging times are not forever.  I always liked the quote by Winston Churchill that said, "If you find yourself in hell, keep going."  And there is another quote shared to me from my friend Julia that we do not know the source of.  It says, "It's always alright in the end.  So if it's not alright, it's not the end."

The one constant during the challenging times has been the love fortunes.  They usually make me giggle or go awwwwww.  So one fortune said, I love you tell me how your feelings.  Maybe too much, but our feelings are our experiences so there the most honest thing I can share right.  Most of our thoughts are made up and really not true.  Another is I love how you make my heart feel.  That was definitely an awww moment....  We have, I love how much you believe in me.  It's been my experience believing in our friends is the biggest gifts our friends provide.  They believe in us when we are having a hard time believing in ourselves.  And if they don't, maybe you need to reconsider their value to your life.  Just saying...

And yes I giggled when I read I love how you make strange noises.  I giggled, then went oh shit, do I make turret like noises or is he just referring to the Woo Hoo's, Woots and, on special occasion, wheeeeeeee's that I shout throughout spin class.  I won't ask and just go with the latter.

Oh and there was an awwww, when I read I love watching you smile in class when you know no one is looking.    I remember that there is Hallmark card os something that says,

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, 

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.

So I'm ending with a paradoxical song here...as I do believe that heaven is here on earth, we just need to shift our gaze.  Bruno Mars may not agree with me, per his song he feels he's been locked out, but the song has such a damn good beat...I have more to catch up with but tomorrow is another day.

PS I had to go back and google that quote and like to give credit where it's due.  That quote is by William Purkey.  Who is William Purkey. Never mind, I don't need to know that.

 

If Not You, Then Who?

I'm still not back into the swing of things and the love fortunes over the weekend were perfect for my intention...so I'm going to not be so linear so more and go with the flow...and this mornings struck me because it was I Love How You Believe In Me.  It struck me because of a youtube video I saw on FB about women that described themselves to a sketch artist without him seeing them.  Then he would have a stranger that was in the room with them describe them and sketch them.  Guess what the stranger described them with more beauty than the individual.  I get this on a deeper level every day and wonder what I need to do to believe in myself more...I'm fair at it and I don't want to be egoic but if I don't who will...if you don't who will so here's the video and then to show that there is still some of the same old Lulu in there, a song.

I can't help it, I'm sure there are more modern Believe songs...I'm a Cher fan and yes I Believe in Life Before, During and After Love...after all I'm a love activist, right...well that's what I believe and I'm going to stick to it.

Time To Reboot

I'm getting ready to go into a weekend for shamanic retreat as well as kicking off t a reboot program as I'm doing a little belated Spring cleaning...although the weather was late in warming up so I'm not going to worry about it and it's shamanic time.  I will be tracking my love fortunes because it is one of my favorite daily practices.  I'll be back to blogging, most likely, on Sunday or Monday

So the last two fortunes are "I Love How You Are Always There For Me When I'm Grouchy" and "I Love How Your Laughter Fills The Studio".  So to me these are related but as we know I can do that with most things but laughter is the best way to get out of grouchy...and since I'm more in retreat mind than effusive spouting Lulu-isms.  I'm just going to share a nice little reminder I found on facebook that embraces both as I have it posted in my office (where I get to grouchy more often than other places)

And I guess it's all about how we reboot whether it be through a quote, a cleanse, laughter...

PS...

This blogging is like letting the cork out of the damn sometimes...so I had another thought about the I love how you say what you mean.  Not about me but it's funny how the universe does line up and sends other affirmations around the theme (making me realize I may have to look at this aspect of myself more closely.)  But on Facebook today, I just saw something from Paulo Coelho that said, Don't say NO if you want to say YES.  Don't say MAYBE if you want to say NO.  It was right over a picture with the quote "Diga "NO" sin culpa.  Diga "SI" sin miedo.  And if my spanish is right the translation wasn't exact, and in spanish what was said Say NO without blame/guild.  Say YES without fear.  And although not precisely the same it is all embodied in one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Seuss which is "Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."  Similar to Mark Twains quote which is "It's mind over matter.  If you Don't Mind It Don't Matter."

I think I'm done for the day, but you never know....