Snap Goes The Rubber Band of Resistance

Hurray!  The rubber band of resistance and procrastination does not stretch to infinity and beyond.  There is a limit and mine has finally gone snap.  I finally inaugurated my Couch to 5K IPhone application.  Yes, the one that I have had for at least 4 months and had collected the proverbial cobwebs.  

I am not announcing this publicly because I am proud.  In truth it is because I hope the shame of not sticking to this after having announced it will help me keep my commitment.  I used to love running and exercise.  I even thought I wanted to be a personal trainer at one time.  I know the benefits yet getting back on the bandwagon has been tough.  I surely wish my love of self was stronger than my fear of shame.   But I have to pat myself on the back for knowing myself. Right?  After all, fear of shame has a good track record with me.  It got me to quit smoking 2 plus years ago when I partnered on the endeavor with my dear friend.  Well maybe it was pride of not letting friends see me fail.  Yes, pride and shame, opposite ends of the same coin huh?  And, in truth, you may not care if my lethargy was leading me to be a candidate for the next season of Biggest Loser, but I’ll pretend you do and I’m going to use pride aka the fear of shame game, to be kinder to my health. Juicy rationalization or not.

I do feel that I have to give some credit for this big snap to Ann Randolph who lead a phenomenal workshop at Kripalu called Sharing Your Life Story.  It was a 5 day writing and improv workshop.  I know at Kripalu, you may be thinking it was a bit woo-woo.  Don’t get me wrong, I do like to dip into the woo woo pool.  I’m an ex-junky of  woo-woo workshops.  And some may call my Lulu Loving Life healing and ceremonial practice a bit woo-woo too.  But if you’ve been around me, you’ll realize I prefer  things a bit tart and spicy.  If it’s too sweet and syrupy, I go into diabetic shock.  What I found refreshing, and the beauty of this retreat, was that participants could be as cathartic as they wished as long as they were willing to take responsibility for coping with the potential angst.  And we focused on the prize of creation.

Ann provided creative and inspirational exercises and prompts for both, our improvisational and writing exercises.  Silly me I thought I was just going to be focused on writing for the sake of writing.  The transformational impact took this ex-workshop junky by surprise.  Based on my extensive and diverse workshop experience as well as my personal diligence and dedication to my personal transformation, I feel entitled to say that I’m a person who has processed a lot of her shit and garbage.  Don’t let my expletives demean the intent of the words, nor connote a bad thing.  After all what do you think fertilizer aka manure or compost is composed of?  And what does fertilizer create? Yes, the answer is a beautiful garden.  

Sure I know the onion has many layers and was was still delighted at the additional insights I received about my life experiences.  I constantly preach that our wounds are also our medicine and it has became crystal clear that there is such power in expressing ourselves in story, whether it be written or performed.  After all we can only tell our stories if we have survived our stories.   And, in becoming the story teller of our hardships and life circumstances, we release the hand cuffs of victimization and transmute surviving to thriving.

I left this workshop feeling inspired, confident & courageous.   And I’m savoring the lingering taste of creativity and possibilities. I left reminded of why I started to blog.  After using it as a way to keep friends abreast of my life when I was living in India, I thought I would continue sharing my love for life, it’s humor and the metaphors that help me grow and trust.  Instead it has turned into a place for me to keep an anthology of the New Moon New Life Ceremonies that I hold every month.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love  the ceremonies which are filled with playful metaphor; however, I love so much more than that and life is inherently filled with metaphors that can be transformative catalysts a.k.a. insights or personal aha’s, or, at the least, a giggle.  I enjoy finding the metaphors amongst the silliness and craziness life provide and using the shit to create a blossom.  So why not share it.  And to play the fear of shame game one more time (after all practice makes perfect), I commit to blogging at least once a month other than the New Moon New Life recaps.  I’m the first to admit that it’s a fine line between wisdom and a good juicy rationalization so I’m going to let you take responsibility for what my sharing evokes and continue to keep loving life and blogging about it...

Total Receptivity Under Skeptical Times

This morning, before sitting down to blog, I was reflecting on why did I choose the theme or TRUST this week.  And I was trying to think of the inspiration and my rational mind said it's because of an epidemic that I have found to be rampant.  I call this dis-ease the OLD Perfection Paradigm.  This is the belief that we are less than perfect because for some reason we feel that we don't stack up because of all programming that we have inherited from our families, the media, our communities...    All too often, I hear really awesome people doubt themselves all the time and it makes me a little sad.  And we know that sometimes hard times and challenges come up.  And this event may trigger negative thought patterns and make us feel like we are NOT enough to handle it or they need something that the don't have whether it be money, education or training, ...

If you noticed I do use the word WE here as it's also important to realize this is an epidemic and I too am not always immune.  But feel fortunate that I do have a few tools in the medicine cabinet to help eliminate it.  After all it's a process and we keep peeling away, one layer of the onion at a time.  After all even the Owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial, asks how many licks does it take to get to the center of the lollypop.  Hmmm, perhaps this months prasad should have been a tootsie pop so we can try it out for ourselves or a tootsie roll so I can give you the yummy gewey center without the sucking (metaphor intended).  And what would be the fun in that.  However, I have digressed and that is not this months surprise although perhaps a new inspirational treat is foreshadowed.

So the NEW Perfection Paradigm and the truth of the matter is, the only thing missing is trust in ourselves.  My wish for the world is that we all welcome what is occurring to us right now and who we are is absolutely perfect.  If it's yummy enjoy it and of it's a lemon make lemonade.

Another thing that was going on around the same time and it happens to me from time to time, is I start pondering my life and then I start to giggle with delight.  I start to giggle with delight as I realize that if, like in the Christmas Carol and the ghost of current Lulu came to visit me about 15 plus years ago and showed me that I was going to be never married at 46, clowning in Costa Rica, traipsing off to India and Peru to visit temples and work with healers or doing shamanic lunar ceremonies every month I would have dismissed it as a bad dream or I may have even made every attempt to make that not happen and perhaps may have choices to intentional thwart the prophesy.  Heck 15 years ago, I hadn't even fully embrace the name Lulu yet, I was very much Lisa, not even Lisa Hari.  Yes, my middle name on my birth certificate although not intentional on my parents part is one of the Sanskri name for God.  And funny how I had shame around it as a child but now am quite proud.  Just shows how we can tranform, huh?

And  although I definitely had an image of who I was going to be and where my life was going, I'm so glad that my soul was whispering  "Go For It" loud enough so that when the breadcrumbs were being put in front of me, I said what the heck let me follow them.  I certainly could not have written the script of my life.  And, without hesitation, I say THANK GOD for that, as I have a feeling that if I lived the script that was in my head there would have been much more needless suffering and if I knew it in advance, it may have taken the fun and wonder out of it.  I have to say my life has been a blast across the spectrums of highs and lows and I truly wouldn't trade in any part of it because they have made me who I was.  I have to admit that it was more a deep sadness than trust that motivate me.  And if I had not had the sadness (as unpleasant as it has been at times), I may have been more complacent and never explored a Life truly worth living.

Oh wait, I was blogging to give you guys a summary of the ceremony and not a diatribe about my life, let me continue.  We started the ceremony by calling in all the participants.  The attendees introduced themselves to the mesa and I called in the sombres of each of the dream workers as well as lite participants.  So thank you again for participating.

So because of all the above I was pondering trust.  And like the aconym I was given once for fear which is false expectations appearing real, I easily came up with one for trust - Total Receptivity Under Skeptical Times.  I really would change the word skeptical for challenging but then we'd have truct and not trust :).  And like Dr. Stone, founder of Polarity says, "Obstacles are God's design to make man with a spine."   I truly believe that the core to being a trusting person is allowing yourself to be fluid and receptive to all that life has to offers.  Sure, sometimes life brings in some clunkers, which is why we have to be fluid, like Tai Chi, and let things move through us and not hold onto anything.

I also realized that I was never really taught about the importance of receptivity until later in life and boy how it would have shifted my life if I knew it sooner.  I know, I know.... I just told you Obstacles build man with a spine and I don't want to be spineless and it certainly has empowered me to know this from my experiences rather than something I was told from someone else or read in a book.  After all another favorite quote from one of my teachers is, "Would you rather learn from someone who says, this is my believe system or this is my experience.  After all belief systems are just B.S."  However, I will admit that it can help to hear the belief system and follow up with the homework, or should I say dreamwork, that turns the belief into an experience.  And when we come up with an idea based on our experience, it's truly an innovation.

So why are we not receptive.  It goes back to our education.  Yep, schools focused on the three R's, Reading, wRiting and 'Rithmatic.  For me that is the wRong three R's.  I want to create another new paradigm and change required Three R's of Education to Receptivity, Reactions and Responses.  I believe I've been pretty clear on the importance of receptivity so far.  Afterall it's the key word in the acronym for trust; however, I will spend a little more time elaboating on how I would differentiate between our reactions vs our responses.  In my dictionary a reaction is more unconscious and basically it is the initial response to a situation and is often based on our programming.  Our responses are our actions that are based upon our reaction (or our understanding of our reactions).  The reason I diffentiate is that if more people understood their reactions, their response may be more kind and in alignment with how they would prefer to behave.

Let's face it, life is going to present us with challenges or people, whose behavior really pushes our buttons.  And rather than blame the situation or the person and making ourselves look like a victim, we can look closely at our reaction and what it is truly triggering inside.  Is it triggered by a shameful belief that we are not good enough.  Or perhaps it's triggering our mightier than though judge that knows the cardinal rules better than anyone else.  So if we understand why we had that reaction, like I want to run and hide or perhaps I want to rip someones head off, we can respond to the situation more responsibly and from a place of wholeness.  We can't control the actions of the others but we can work towards understanding our reactions so we don't respond from our wounded places.  There are too many people that are acting from their wounded place and, in my opinion, that why we have wars.

So I've elaborated on it from a blog sense but truly only touched the surface on this topic.   I could right a book about understanding our reactions, but I don't need to as there is a trusty resource.  If you want a resource on working with your reactions a little more, Echkart Tolle has a great chapter (chapter 5 to be specific) entitled The Pain-Body in his very insightful book, A New Earth.

And, although I thought I was done, I just want to stress how important I feel it is to understand our reactions.  And I do mean UNDERSTAND them, DO NOT JUDGE them.  They happened for a reason and we need to love our imperfections.  In my case,  I can tell you it certainly wasn't a conscious trust that lead me down the path.  But through my experiences I see the value of working the New Three R's and that leads me to give you another thing I read that motivated me to make sure I am lovingly diligent and understanding my reactions.

I was reading Stephen Levine, who is a psychiatrist and Buddhist that has done some really amazing work with the dying.  And the important thing that he stresses is that you die as you have lived.  So we can't expect our patterns to all of a sudden change we learn of our death.  Sometimes, people know in advance when they are going to die and have the time to make amends and be more loving than they could have with family and friends.  In many cases, deaths can happen by without warning.  (Actually as I type this I realize this may have been inspired by Ram Dass who has many amazing books himself, but it's about the story not the teller.)

I've been told that Ghandi's last words after he was shot was, "Ram, Ram, Ram..."  Ram is the name of a God in the Hindu tradition.  I have to add that he spoke Ram adoringly and not in a bargaining or damning manner.

So think of the last time you were cut off while driving in traffic and your reaction.  And depending on circumstances that can be the last event of your life.  Do you want your last words to be "Oh Shit or that Mother....." or your name for God (and if your atheist, you can use the word Love as a synonym).  You want to mean it and not speak it like a script or because someone said you'll have a better after life it you did it.

So we went into the surrender process, to release any of the old patterns and programming that keeps us being receptive, keeps us from feeling loving towards ourselves, our lives and those that cross our paths. We did this to Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flattes.  (For a link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkWGwY5nq7A)  Because as I said earlier, it's our entire life that made us awesome, even the "broken" parts.  

So now that we have surrendered and a receptive, we go into the seed planting.  As I said it's about our experiences more than our belief systems, so the only way to really trust is to Live Life and make it the medicine we share with the world.  So we go into our true unmasked self inspire us with the seeds to be planted.  This we did to no other than Dolly Parton's, Better Get To Living.  (For a link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKeulwZ3sGE )

And as I often say, you can't make this shit up.  As I type this, I have my itunes on Shuffle. And what song just came up but Dolly Parton.  Not the song we did the seed planting, but I Will Always Love You.  And as much as I can go into more about the ceremony the prayers for others and garland of dreams of which each of your seeds was transferred into and then offered to the East River.  I leave you with  the lyrics from Dolly that still ring in my ears and are my sign that I've done enough typing.

And I hope that you have all

That you ever dreamed of

Oh, I do wish you joy

A I wish you happiness

But above all this

I wish you love

Courage to Be Me

Well this months New Moon was quite a new experience.  This is the first time I didn't have any live attendees.  I've always said that as long as I had dream workers, I would do the ceremony, I would still do the ceremony and this is the first time, I did.  I always look for the inner meaning and not until after I opened the directions and called in the names of all the dream workers and lite participants did I realize the gift in this for me.   Each month I ask participants to introduce themselves to the mesa and why they were there.  I always give my own little reason as well and not until I heard myself say that this month was dedicated to the courage to be me, did I get it.  Yes, it was courage to be fully me as I was the only one physically witnessing this.  In addition, because people are in the room when we do the individual process work, I'm often holding space for the group energetics.  Without people in the room, I was able to personally do the surrender and planting seed process.


So here is a view of the altar for the evening from the North and the South.



So interestingly this month I chose both songs to be the same artist P!nk.  I typically don't do that but as I had what I felt were the two perfect songs from her, I realized she does represent someone is appears to have courage to be her authentic self.  I've heard a few stories about why she calls herself P!nk, which can be pretty bold, but daring to call yourself that and using an exlamation point for the letter i, kind of says a lot in itself.


So we went through the surrender process with her son, F**king Perfect.  This probably could have been the seed song too, but I had to choose one for each and I like this because I think that many people really have to give up there idea's of Perfect.  I realize that many people suffer from the old paradigm of needing to be perfect which is this unrealistic goal that they inherited from their families, society and media...  The new paradigm for perfection is that everything that is happening in the moment is perfect and it is what we do with a situation and not whether it is "good" or "bad" that makes that so.  Because no one was in the room I did take a picutre of the burning of the surrender statements.  

What I always think is a great metaphor here is that the bowl looks full when I have the pieces of paper with all of the participants print outs; however, after the burning transformation is done, the ash is really quite small.  Reminding us that perhaps our issues are really not that big.  Then again in the ceremony, I also burn the papers with the seeds and prayers for others and you also know what, I often use different colors to represents the surrender, the seeds and the prayers but afterwards when it's ash, it all looks the same which also shows you that it is all energy.  And this goes back to our new paradigm of perfection that no matter how you label the moment it's all energy and it's all perfect.  Typically I take the ashes and offer them out to nature; however, I am committed to a pilgrimage to Peru and have decided to collect the ash I acquire in ceremony until then and find the perfect place to offer it in Peru.  So I'll be taking all your dreams and healing with me to Peru, a very sacred place for me.


So, of course, we continue the seed planting with P!nks version of Glitter in the Air and I also shared this you tube link with you of her performance of it at the Grammy Award Ceremony.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3stsDXki__U  It's pretty obvious why that represents the seeds of courage to be oneself.  And it also represents for the metaphor of doing something  that can be a metaphor for the change you want to see to see.  Like taking a trapeze class.  I remember the euphoria I felt after the first time I went rock climbing and after I reached the top.  Also I was a bad swimmer practically a non-swimmer.  I took this great class that was a weekend emersion and during it I felt like a mermaid, it was very empowering.  I actually never followed up and probably could use another but  how at that time in life my ability to swim helped remember during a challenging moment where I felt like I was barely trerading water through an experience, the following quote came to me.  The shaman swims in the same water that the psychotic drowns in.  And I was able to laugh at my challenge and said to myself, ok I may not be swimming but I'm not drowning, so I must not be psychotic.


So in the dreamwork I specifically mentioned "I'm also a big believe in metaphor.  So there could be actions we take that can be a metaphor for what we are trying to do.   Perhaps something that you are self conscious of doing or it scares you a little bit that would be a good metaphor to help you embody this a little more.  As I've often said, courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action with acknowledgement of the fear.  Perhaps your courageous act is to reach out to a friend for help or to share your dreams, take a Salsa Class, it can be taking an acting class, it can be taking a trapeze class, learn to rock climb, learn to swim or dive, take an art class, learn an instrument, practice saying no to the demands of others ... (see there are many options) look for something that would be a metaphor for what you want to achieve. I already have two things that I'm committing too myself.  One will be started before the ceremony and the other afterwards.  Make sure to put that in your title as well as I like to read the inspirational metaphors.  At the least, this is to help you think creatively on ways to glitter in the world yet, I highly encourage you to follow through with it."  


So for me, the action that I did.  I didn't realize it until it all came together but getting a tatto was just that metaphor for me.  I had always admired tattoo as art on others but always said that there is nothing I want forever and I'm afraid of the pain.  Well after thinking about it Hanuman, one of my favorite Hindu Monkey Gods, I certainly was able to imagine having forever and as I kept thinking of it, I realized that I didn't have fear of pain to be the reason I didn't do this.  As those of you have participated in the Wholeness Renewal Ceremony's Hanuman is very dear to me and represents humility, strength and devotional service.  I have to say I had never imagined myself to be the type of person that would have a tattoo and actually when I started out, I didn't even imaging it to be this large but when it came time, it really had to be and I'm so excited with my decision.  Here is my Hanuman tattoo.

So by no means am I saying that any of you should get a tattoo but there is something that you may want to do that represents you.  The other thing I plan on doing next week is taking a Salsa class.  This for me represents my desire to be someone that dances through life.  Salsa is spicy, like I'd like to consider myself.  And I'd like to meet men that can appreciate that as well.  So I'm committing to at least one class and let's see where that leads.  I had asked for you all to put that in the title and noticed that nobody did.  I thought I was more obvious in my request but I should have put it in the instructions towards the end.  There is something about sharing the metaphor with someone that also put's an exclamation point on the intention.  Plus this stuff gets me excited and  it's never too late.  So if you're inclined please share the metaphorical action that represents the courage to be you with me.  And please be creative and let it be something other than the items I've mentioned.  It doesn't have to be grandiose or take a huge expense but it has to be done with consciousness and it must have significance for you.  If you can't think of one, I'd love to set up a time to talk and we can come up with something fun together.

So of course I did the prayers for others as well and as usual I had the origami birds with the prayers for others on the mesa.  I choose birds so that your prayers may take flight.  And there was some special requests that I put in the shape of hearts in the south as these people need a little extra loving.  Here are those prayers

As always I ended with the garland of dreams.

Typically I offer the garland to the East River right after the ceremony; however, the next night I was offering my altar for a process call link up practiced by mesa carriers all over the worlds on Wednesday evenings.  Typically we do this in our own privacy, but other communities share the process once a month and because I love sharing and kind of the courage to be me, I decided to start to do this on the first Wednesday of the month.  The garland wanted to stay and have that experience and a sweet one it was.  The intention behind  link up process and the mesa tradition can best be represented by this quote by my teacher Oscar, "Compassionate action taken from spritual wisdom unites."  So the process is a lovely process of sacred reciprocity where we allow ourselves to be fed by the global unconditional love and in turn return that love to others on the planet that are in need.  So your dreams were further bathed in that energy.  Here is a picture of the offering to the East River, my local version of the Ganges.  I could have offered it that night but my gut said wait until the next night to offer it.  And then I realized that today is Cinco De Mayo which is Mexican Independence Day and a day that signifies pride.  Well what better day to offer your garland of dreams.  I wish I could take credit for thinking of that in advance.  And I would have given you a picture but I messed up with the flash and the river was so receptive of the offering that it was too far away by the time I figured it all out.  So you'll just have to trust how beautiful and awesome I know you are.

Dim the Inner Naysayers....Ignite the Inner Yay Sayers

Well it was another blessed New Moon Ceremony.  Although every guest is special I felt very honored to have 3 generations of Lerner, well I guess Sanchez, women in the ceremony.  My mother, older sister and 13 year old niece were at the ceremony.  I could feel the healing that transmitted forward and backwards for our family and all.  It was a re-enactment of the trilogy of the virgin, mother and the crone.  So there was some powerful medicine this month.

So as always we opened the mesa by calling in directions.  I included all participants as the dreamworkers had their work included and in the papers I included the names of all the lite participants.  Of course we discussed the awesome and inspiring video of the wayseers manifesto that I asked all participants to watch prior to attending or doing dreamwork.  So Lite participants, here is your chance to get a glimpse of the youtube video from the following link.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPR3GlpQQJA  I also spoke about how he uses the term the way, which I would exchange the word Love for.  Love is not something any of us can own.  Yet there is an abundant resource for us to tap into when we feel safe enough to let down all the walls and retreat our gatekeepers.  Although there are times we need them the more we can let us tap into the resources, the more we will be on the right track.

So of course the surrender process is the releasing of all those obstacles to the infinite global love.  Before jumping into the surrender process, I shared the following quote by Parker Palmer.  

‎"As I stand in the tragic gap between reality and possibility, this small, 

tight fist of a thing called my heart can break open into greater capacity 

to hold more of my own and the world's suffering and joy, despair and hope."

And as much as I say in the title dim the inner naysayer.  Polarities and paradox happen in life.  And when a challenge or less than pleasant experience the important thing is not to allow it to lessen the other side of the spectrum which includes our good fortune, our joy, our happiness.  And when we are brave enough, creative enough and trusting enough to hold both ends of the paradox, a creative new solution can occur.  And we can get rid of the either - or's and black and white solutions to a life of and's and a colorful rainbow that is a lot more fun.

As often happens things fall into my lap that seem to be just perfect.  I recently became a Mary Oliver fan.  She is a poet that happens to be a poet who wrote an anthology called Dreamworks.  Of course, I had to buy it and I found two poems to share.  First called a poem called the Journey.  It felt applicable for the surrender process and here it is.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice - - -
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
'Mend my life!'
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop. 

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations - - -
though their melancholy
was terrible.It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do - - - determined to save
the only life you could save.

We then went into the surrender process while listening to the song performed by the Glee Cast (so yes, I am a Gleek)  called "Get It Right".  After the surrender I had the attendees blow the remnants of their naysayer into the Thank You card below.

You'll see it laying on my burning bowl above.    I choose a thank you card, because although we are choosing to surrender it now, it did serve a purpose for us through our life and make each of us who we are.  Inside that card on a piece of paper is all the surrender work of all the dreamworkers.  I printed each one over again on the same piece of paper.  This is representing one that although we each feel that our naysayers are the most shameful and dramatic, in truth they are not and in fact many of us share similar issues as most of them come not from us, but from recordings that we have heard growing up from our families, media....  Most of the things we believe about ourselves is not true.  Usually the naysayer is coming from the mind and not really the heart, which is where we go next in the heart work.  But before we did, you can't really see it in this picture, but I tied a gold string from the card to a big honker of a stone that I often use for extraction work.  And you know what I did I cut this cord, the umbilical cord that makes the naysayer stay connected to us.   The simple snip of the cord is as simple as the shift of our perspective.  Our habit may be to judge ourselves, but once we are aware of this habit, we can choose to turn our weakness into a strength.  It's all about choices.  Of course, we then burned the card, it's contents and cord which will be used as compost for the natural world to use to fertilize the beautiful garden of our lives.

So as I say the yaysayer comes from our hearts and love.  We connected with our inner fire and of course to have the balance, I have another Poem by Mary Oliver's Dreamwork called Morning Poem and here it is:

Morning Poem

Every morning

the world

is created. 

Under the orange 

sticks of the sun

the heaped

ashes of the night

turn into leaves again 

and fasten themselves to the high branches ---

and the ponds appear

like black cloth

on which are painted islands 

of summer lilies. 

If it is your nature

to be happy

you will swim away along the soft trails 

for hours, your imagination

alighting everywhere. 

And if your spirit

carries within it 

the thorn

that is heavier than lead ---

if it's all you can do

to keep on trudging --- 

there is still

somewhere deep within you

a beast shouting that the earth

is exactly what it wanted --- 

each pond with its blazing lilies

is a prayer heard and answered

lavishly, 

every morning, 

whether or not

you have ever dared to be happy, 

whether or not

you have ever dared to pray. 

We did the seed planting process with Joan Osbourne's, "Love is Alive".  She references the fire of the heart quite appropriately.  So after the seed journey, I raised the dreams of each participant and they each received a gold thread tied around their wrist to remind them the their love is alive and their dreams are firmly planted.  So hear the gold thread is symbolizing our dreams instead of the weight of our naysayer that I snipped earlier.  Again showing that everything is just energy and we get to choose what it represents.

Of course we did the prayer for others and we chanted munay, which is quechua for unconditional love, as that is the greatest healer as I burned all the seeds of each person as well as the prayers for others.  If you look at the mesa photo the prayers for others were divided into four origami figures, two cranes and two hearts.

We closed the ceremony by taking in the prasad and sweetness of life.  Showing the universe that we are ready to receive sweetness in our lives.  

I went off to the East River to offer the garland of dreams.  I often bring my ipod with me to accompany my walk and I chose to put it on shuffle.  The first song was "Everybody Has to Believe In Something" by Sam and David.  And I had to laugh as this felt like a, You can't make this shit up moment.  And I thought very true and I believe in the Power of Love, The Power of Ceremony and The Power of All You Dedicated Wayseers and Transformers.  

Another perfect moment occurred as I offered the garland of dreams to the East River.  And as I did this I seem to have woken up two ducks that were hiding close to me so I didn't see them until I woke them up with the blossoms of your dreams.   And I didn't get a good picture of them but will include to give a dark glimpse.  Just so you know with the exception of one month when I did ceremony in Puerto Rico, I have made garland of dreams offering every New Moon since October 2009 and always in this vicinity. I have never had any duck friends accompany the offering.  This was unique.

Right off the bat, I did find it interesting that there was two and I was talking about paradox.  However, I only now decided to look up the signifance of ducks in Animal Speaks, which is my little bible for the significance of animal allies.  And it says "it is linked to the feminine energies, the astral plan and to the emotional state of humans."  Did we not have all versions of feminine energy in this ceremony with the virgin, mother and crone.  Although never surprised by the power of ceremony, I am yet again awed by the perfection of life and how the seen and unseen forces are at the ready to support us or confirm when we are on the right track.  

And I do have I Tunes on shuffle again.  And remind you this can be anything from Rock to Gospel to Showtunes to Kirtan.  As I am ready to sign off, the song that has come up is "Today I Am A Messenger of Ginger Curry.  And to share some of the lyrics are "Today I am a messenger of peace of joy...Today I am a messenger of love...Today I am a messenger of God." I was awed after the symbolism of the ducks and now I am speechless.  Which is not a common state and end with eternal gratitude for sharing this work with all of you.  In Sacred Relationship We Remain.


P.S.  After finishing this I ran out to meet Sarah, a dear friend, Shaman and ceremonialist and shared the ceremony and the ducks and how the two represented paradox and she pointed out that we had a Pair of Ducks.  I hope your guffawing as much as I am.  This may become a title of a new book.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who's the Fairest of them All? YOU, that's who!

So this new moon felt different for me in that it felt incredibly sweet and tender for me.  We had the additional auspiciousness (is that a word) in that it was Shivaratri, a holiday honoring Shiva in the Hindu tradition.  In addition there were a few birthdays surrounding this New Moon, so there were some literal enactments of what these New Moons are all about...rebirthing ourselves.

As always we opened the mesa by calling in the directions and getting right into the theme which was yes mirrors.  And how our outer world is a mirror of our inner world.  So by working on our inner selves as we all do through this ceremony (and many other ways in your life I'm sure), it has a ripple effect on our outer world experiences.  Although you can work on the outer and have it shift your inner world, I do prefer the former because the only thing we can control is ourselves.  The perfect metaphor of this is the mobius strip which I've spoken of previously.  The significance is that it shows how the inner and the out feed each other and that all is connected, even when it feels like there are some contradictions.  And as you can see from the picture of the mesa, the mobius strip from last months new moon is there.  On the full moon I shifted it from the east to west, which is linear time and represents our experience as human beings walking on this planet, to the direction of north to south, which represents our experience as spiritual beings coming into form on this planet.  Now that it has been on for a complete moon cycle, I have offered it to Pachamama/Mother Earth.

It is often said that we don't like the behaviors of others in our life it is often because we have those same qualities.  That is often true as it's a tough thing to accept and there is still another option.  I used an example of working with someone who I found to be lazy, stupid and disingenuous.  Yes I am sharing some of my lower self stuff, I am more than human.  This person pushed every button I had and consulted saying I know that this must mean I have it inside me.  What my teacher shared with me that it was actually mirroring where I was being attached to a rule that I have for myself which is to never be lazy, stupid or disingenuous and that I don't give myself an inch of relief in that category.  And it was a way of looking at my attachment to a way of being and causing judgements that was really only making me suffer not the person I was judging.

We talked about the Ruben Vase image I shared as part of the dreamwork.

I find this as an amazing metaphor as there are probably an infinite number of interpretations of what we see in the world.  We are quick to label, but as this picture demonstrates there are two ways to label these pictures.  I can say this is a picture of a vase, holy grail or some type of vessel.  Or I can say this is a picture of two faces looking towards each other.  Which do we want to see.  And what I like in particular about this image showing both black and white and a colored version.  I find it easier to see both images in the black and white version, yet it's a little more challenging in the color version.  We defninitely live in a colorful world which intimates that there are even more than two ways to interpret and situation.  So perhaps we can be a little more gentle when we decide to label a situation.  We can certainly label how a situation feels but we don't really know the motives of others and sometimes we think we see one thing, but because we can only label something from our experiences, it may be something else entirely.

We as always start with the surrender process and we did this to the song Freckles by Natasha Bedingfield.  I was recently introduced to this song and it was one of the major inspirations for this months theme.  I am including a link to this from Youtube that I recommend looking at as it includes the lyrics in written from.  It's a keeper.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIBFv60Ilik

As we know as soon as a topic comes up, all the back up materials falls into place.  So I shared this picture which recently came to me through a facebook friend

Yes more often than not we see ourselves way smaller and less powerful than we truly are and I think this is a sweet demonstration of that.  This is a reminder of why I encourage all of you to dream big.  This also reminded me of a story from my meditation teacher Harshada.  It's better told live but I'll give it a shot.

Once upon a time there was a small lion cub that got lost.  As this laundry man was walking through the forest, he came across this cub and, in taking pity on this poor lost cub, he decided to take him home.  This man washed laundry for a living and had several donkeys that he used to help with the laundry.  So the man put the cub in the stables with the lions.  He decided to train the cub to help with the laundry along with the donkeys.  So the lion cub ate and lived like donkeys.  He learned to bray like a donkey.  The donkeys shared all there beliefs and ways of being with this donkey.  He may have looked different on the outside but on the inside as a result of the programming he was a donkey.  Well one day while they were all out by the river washing fresh laundry, there was an adult male lion lurking.  He peaked through the trees licking his chops and said "human, donkey, donkey, donkey,....wait a minute what is a lion doing with these donkeys."  So the lion steps out from the trees. Upon seeing the lion the man and the donkeys run away in all directions to save themselves from their predator the lion.  As the other "donkey" lion attempted to run the adult male lion grabbed him and pinned him to the floor.  He asked the donkey lion what he was doing fraternizing with these donkeys.  After all he was a king of the jungle.  The donkey lion disagreed.  The adult lion grabbed the donkey lion by the scruff of this neck and pushed his face just a few inches from the lake where the laundry was being cleaned.  He said, "Look, look at the water...you are a lion, just like me."  It started to sink in.  It did take some time but the donkey lion realized that he was a full lion and learned to roar and like the other lions.

I think this story pretty much stands for yourself and we all have an inner lion.  There is another quote that Harshada likes to share which is, it's better to be bad at your own dharma, then be perfect at someone else's.  So yes we all have to find our own flavor of inner lion and live life from our truth and not someone else's.  Which leads to my favorite bumper sticker, "Remember you are unique, Just like everyone else."

So after this process the ground was clearly set to plant our seeds which it was.  I was quite delighted by all the different childhood heroes that you all shared as your inspiration in the seed planting meditation.  It was great to have all the energy of these playful inspirations in the room with us.  And you have intrigued me to go back and read some of the stories.  So we did this process to Katy Perry's song Firework.  I'm including a link to this Youtube video as well as I really like the way the sparks come out from the heart.   And after all, we really need to let the sparks generated by our hearts shine out in the world.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

Of course all of your seeds were transmitted into a blossom for the garland of dreams.  Along with the prayers for others.  I brought it to the East River right after to offer it; however, because I forgot my flash, this garland was really well received and flowed North up the east river with such speed, I didn't get it in the water.  So here is a picture of it on the mesa. As you can see I forgot the flash yet again.  I guess it was all the fireworks from the seed planting exercise.

Happy Groundhog's Day - Let Our Animal Allies Support Our Transformation

So this was an interesting New Moon, very potent.  I've never had to call in a weather delay.  And in truth the weather wasn't that bad but I had some aha's afterwards that made it perfect and entertaining to the theme.  So it was Groundhog's Day and Imbolc, a Celtic/Wiccan Holiday) on Wed. and Chinese New Year bringing in the year of the Rabbit on Thursday.  Imbolc pronounce Im-Olk, is significant as it is celebrating the mid-point between the Winter Solsitice (longest day, day with most dark) and the Spring Equinox (day of balance and equal light and dark).  It is the in betweens that aid us in our transformations and feels very connected to the groundhog, that is said to live on the edges.   I've also learned that Groundhog's Day was the way that those who wanted to celebrate Imbolc and wanted to avoid being judged celebrated it. But I am getting ahead of myself.

As you know there is some leverage that I use based on when it is new moon and when I first debated, my heart said let's do the groundhog that can be fun.  So the funny thing is like in the movie there was a weather interruption and we got a do over day (not exactly like the movie) and have it on the New Moon.  The reason this was perfect is that I had been hand making part of this months surprise and just couldn't get myself to complete the final pieces.  Weather doesn't impact me, but I wanted to be considerate of the people that were attending.  So after I decided to shift the date, I realized aha, I needed to complete making the gifts on Groundhog's day.  So here is a little picture of the surprises.

Yes they are hearts, from mine to yours.  I'm going to refrain from the story that inspired them but needless to say the inklings started back in Oct or Nov and they were birthed at the perfect time.  Like our hearts they have different textures and colors and some of the stitching even shows.  Each one is inidividual and are perfect in their imperfections.  These are coming from someone that only passed Home Ec to get me out of the class.  Yes I so loved making these and the real surprise and why they needed to be complete on Groundhog's Day/New Moon was because I have put a piece of groundhog hair and rabbit hair in each of these hearts.  So you can carry the medicine of the groundhog and rabbit, our celebrated animal ally hosts of the ceremony, with you.  They can be kept on an altar but are really meant to be carried with you or to have out as reminder of your beautiful and diverse hearts and that you are loved.  So much appreciation to the hosts and transformational assistants of the evening.

From The South

From The North

In addition here are photo's of the ceremonial altar just prior to the start of the ceremony.  So we opened the mesa as always by calling in the directions and calling the dream worker and lite participants.  I shared a quote from Thoreau that I had read earlier in the week on Facebook from a friend Lata and it really explains why I do the New Moons every month.


"Though I do not believe that a plant will spring up where no seed has been I have great faith in a seed. Convince me that you have a seed there and I am prepared to expect wonders."

We started with the surrender process so I spoke of the medicine of the Groundhog.  This information was included in the dream work but I'm going to put it as footnote for those that need a reminder or so attendees and lite participants have it in print.  Much of the content is from Animal Speaks (parts in quotes and italics) with some of my comments in between.  I humbly admit that I had known of the rabbit as a medicine ally, but had underestimated the shamanic assistance the groundhog can bring.  I encourage calling upon the groundhog frequently.  And also I was very curious as I had been completing those little heart pillows for each of you, what medicine the movie would provide.  I hadn't watched in many, many years and mostly remember it as entertaining but I knew there had to be a line or moment that was clear that he went from reliving the same day over and over again.  And it was when Phil (the Bill Murray character) said,

"No Matter What Happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life I’m happy now because I love you."

So the key word there is Happy Now and also because Love.  And when he says you in the movie, it is to his love interest played by Andie McDowall; however, the you can be left off or in remembering that the you is really just a mirror of ourselves.   And as I say often it starts with love of our selves and our lives first and that is what the heart pillow is intended to remind you of.  Well that and, if you ever doubt, I love each and every one of you.  And it's a clear reminder to make Now the most important time and to love it for what it is and the gifts it has to offers.  By reliving the day for what seemed like an eternity for Phil, he learned how to make the most of the day that helped him move forward.

So we called in the groundhog to assist us in our surrender process. Like the dream workers did I wrote the surrender on one side of a piece of paper.  This piece was a bit longer than fortune cookie size I recommended to the dream workers.  Next came the planting of seeds with the assistance of the very clever and creative rabbit.  So on the mirror side of the surrender paper, I transcribed the seeds.  For the dream workers, I recommended you offering this to the earth and I will do this, but first I used the metaphor of the mobius strip.

For those that were part of the Full Moon Wholeness renewal this may seem redundant, but I'm a big fan of this as an example of how to embrace life.  So for those that are not familar here is a picture of a mobius strip and a circle, which is also used as a metaphor in the wholeness of life.  So if you would imagine a piece of paper with one side having what we are surrendering and one side with seeds of our dreams for our future if I taped them together as a circle.  There is no fluidity, the surrender stays on the inside and the seeds stay on the outside.  But just flipping one end of the paper in making this we get a mobius strip and that more accurately reflects life.  Our surrender, our denisities flows out into our lives like compost for a garden.  And it really shows the fluidity of life.  Needless to say it looks like the infinity sign aka lemniscate; reminding us of the infinity of life and that although we feel the pressure of time, we have all the time in the world.

The images were taken from a book that I'm really enjoying by Parker J. Palmer called "A Hidden Wholeness, The Journey Toward An Undivided Life.  And parts that resonate and I chose to share from the book, are:

Circle

 Mobius Strip

 “...we have only one choice: either we walk the Mobius strip to its continual interchanges, learning to co-create in ways that are life-giving for ourselves and others, or we sleep-walk on the Mobius strip, unconsciously co-creating in ways that are dangerous and often death-dealing to relationships to good work, to hope...

We can survive, and even thrive, amid the complexities of adulthood by deepening our awareness of the endless inner-outer exchanges that shape us and our world and of the power we have to make choices about them.  If we are to do so we need spaces within up and between us that welcome the wisdom of the soul--which knows how to negotiate life on the Mobius strip with agility and grace. “ 

So I took the longer strip with the surrender and seeds and placed it on my mesa to stay there until the full moon.  I was going to offer it at the full moon but have decided that I'll keep it as is until the full moon and then shift it from the East/West axis which represents us as human beings living spiritual lives to the North/South axis which represents us as spiritual beings living a human life until the next New Moon at which point I will offer it to Pachamama, the Earth Mother, the best nurturer there is.

In the tradition that we have been using and works, I then transferred the seeds into individual rose blossoms.  For the dream workers you will see the pieces of paper in the roses, those are your seeds that get individually transferred into the blossoms.  The Lite participants all get a shared blossom.  Together our dreams were woven into the garland of dreams with one pink rose representing our prayers for others and the planet.  Also as is the custom, I completed the evening by offering the garland of dreams to the east river.

Garland on Mesa Through Completion of Ceremony

Offering to the East River, NYC's Ganges

The garland was well received and travelled quickly North up the river.  Every month I'm delighted with what mother moon inspires for our transformation.  In Sacred Relationship We Remain Always!!!


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Footnotes

GROUNDHOG - It is about "Mystery of Death without Dying-Trance-Dreams"  As soon as I read this I realized that groundhog is the perfect shamanic ally.  We refer to shamanic death all the time which is s synonym for rebirth.  In shamanic death it is some of our beliefs and understandings that do the actual dying so that we can re-create ourselves.  We often use journey work to aid us in our work.  The groundhog can help guide us with ease.  The cycle of power for the groundhog is strongest in the winter.  "The groundhog or woodchuck is a burrowing rodent, actually a member of the squirrel family.  It has chisel-like teeth, and it lives at the edges and open areas of woods and forests.  It is known for its digging and tunneling ability.  Symbolically this reflects the ability to get deep within an area of interest.  It is not unusual to have a groundhog appear at a time when a new area of study is about to open up.  Since a groundhog does not fully mature for about two years, its appearance as a totem can reflect an endeavor that may take two years to come to full fruition... The groundhog makes elaborate dens with multiple exits and storage rooms.  It spends half its time underground...Groundhogs are generally non-territorial, but they will not allow others in their tunnel.  Groundhogs can tell if a burrow is occupied, as fresh dirt will be piled outside of its entrance.  For anyone with groundhog totem, it is important to give definite signals to the boundaries you wish to have respected for your life.  Groundhogs go into a true hibernation and spend about four to six months in that condition.  They prepare for this by fattening themselves...They will curl up in a frost free chamber of their burrow, and their life processes will slow...They achieve a state of unconsciousness and will usually awaken in the late winter or early spring."  Again the ground hog is good model demonstrating its synchronization with the natural rhythms.  Rather than trying to defy the forces of nature they go with the flow.  This is important as humans with a mind to remember how to use the flow of nature to our advantage and knowing when it's time to hibernate and when it is time to forage.  "Hibernation has always had great significance to it.  It symbolized death without dying.  Some societies used methods to induce these states as a symbolic ritual of death and rebirth.  Thus hibernation reflected a time of initiation.  Winter is the season of power, for that is when the groundhog reveals and uses its most effective medicine--hibernation.  It is also a symbol of opening fully to the dreamtime, the heavy winder sleep, allowing the individual to use the dreamtime more powerfully.  Those with a groundhog totem will find that there will be increasing ability to develop lucid dreaming...Any time groundhog shows up, the clarity and power of altered states will be amplified.  Dreams will become more significant.  Many shamans, yogis, and mystics would teach methods of slowing down the metabolism of the body.  This was often used to create trance conditions.  This could facilitate healing or be direct toward out of body contacts.   It can be used to develop shamanistic trance...to learn and bring back knowledge.  When groundhog shows up as a totem, there will be opportunity to explore deeper altered states of consciousness.  Lessons associated with death and dying and revelations about its process will begin to surface.  Groundhog holds the knowledge of metabolic control.  Its medicine is that of going into the great unconscious to touch the mystery of death without dying"

RABBIT - It is about "Fertility and New Life".  The cycle of power is year round.  "The rabbit is an animal whose essence and energy is a paradox."  In order to leave a whole life we need to embrace both sides of any paradox.  "It is found in both myth and folklore, and, depending on the society, it was perceived in a variety of ways...In Egyptian hieroglyphics it is associate with the concept of being."  So here is a paradox for you, are we spiritual beings living a human life or human beings living a spiritual life.  The answer isn't as important as remembering that we are BEINGS and not DOINGS.  "In China...considered a most fortunate sign, giving those born under it the ability to process the powers of the moon."  No I didn't make that up and even laughing at the perfection of this as I type it.  "Hare individuals are considered sensitive and artistic.  The hare is imbued with ambition, finesses, and virtue, along with living on the moon...The rabbit is known for its ability to procreate, its fleetness, its ability to make great leaps and hops.  It moves primarily by hops and leaps, and individuals with this totem find that their endeavors do so as well...It is active both day and night, but is most visible at dawn and dusk.  There are times long associated with the Faerie Realm of life, and because of this, the rabbit is often seen as an animal that can lead one unknowingly into the Faerie Realm.  The most common example of this is found in Lewis Carroll's story of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, in which Alice follows a white rabbit down a hole into a wondrous world of adventure.  Rabbits and mice are the two most common prey animals.  Because of this Nature compensates them with a tremendous fertility.,,The mother only feels the young in the morning and in the evening.  She spends the rest of the day away from the nest, feeding herself." This is said to be to protect the children but it shows the rabbits balance between serving others and serving the self. "Within one month, 28 days, the young are able to be out on their own.  They stay in the nest, but they can survive on their own."  Hmm 28 days, very much like the Moon Cycle.  "Although some associate fear with the rabbit, it has wonderful abilities for defense...Rabbits often create forms to use for hiding and resting...Rabbit people should plan for possibilities...You do not want to box yourself in a corner.  Rabbits have a knack for avoiding being seen.  They can freeze holding perfectly still...If you are involved in competition--in work or in play--it will be important not to foreshadow your moves"  Or in other words be present in the now and a sense of being.  "Rabbits are vegetarians.  Those with this totem may need to examine the kinds of foods being consumed.  For the greatest health and healing, a vegetarian diet, even if temporary, will strengthen and heal.  Rabbit can show you how to recognize the signs around you.  It can help you to attune to the lunar cycle and recognize the tides of the movement within your life.  This in turn will enable you to become even more fertile in your life."