It is the LIttle Things That Count

I think I'm still stuck on yesterdays line about surprising me and I guess I surprised myself.  And todays love fortune is I love how your find the strangest and smallest things interesting and I guess they do.  So today was a really shitty day.  I was holding space for lots of people going through their own stuff and then had some major hits too.  And despite wanting to go to bed and put the cover over my head and cry, which I'm not against, I knew I needed a second spin class.  I am typically quite vocal with a lot of woo hoo's.  I was so into myself I started a little quiet but then I realized how something as simple as a woot or woo hoo shifted the energy.  I can't say I wanted to dance a jig, but felt lighter and was able to put things in perspective. Oh yeah, and on my way to the spin class I bumped into a person in my apartment that I surprise gifted a love fortune too.  As soon as she saw me she said was it me.  I played dumb but I'm not good at surprises. She was over the top delighted.  I told her how it was gifted and what really was a small gesture on my part could make someone feel so good made me feel good and helped me get out of my shit and get some perspective too.  But the piece that really made me feel good was as I was walking past Stuyvesant Park.  A street light was shining through the bare branches of a tree whose whispery branches looked circular and they had drops of water from the rain/snow.  It was stunning and kind of looked like a spider web which had all sorts of metaphors.  Not sure this picture does it justice but it makes my heart happy to remember that something as simple as that can shift my mood, give me perspective so I can breath and move forward.  It almost looks like something from outer space doesn't it.

Life, A Cornucopia of Cracker Jack Surprises

So todays, love fortune is "I love how much you surprise me.".  Well I guess I can surprise people in the best and worst of ways but always shoot for the best but understand that life is a process.  I started today with a dichotomy.  I knew I was going to have a challenging conversation with my boss and I was having a celebratory dinner with a friend.  Well the friend had to cancel because of a death of her brother Jeff.  Guess the name of my boss.  Yes, it begins with J and ends in F.  That conversation was better than expected and in the end I wound up seeing my friend and instead I got to celebrate her in all her pain and got to know her on a deeper level than it may have taken on a superficial ongoing level.  I'm grateful that she let me be there for her, because, I know I'm not so generous on receiving the gifts that friends want to give.  Today was a blessed day in the pain and the glory.  As it should be.

Opposite Sides of the Same Coin

Yesterday's love fortune. "I love the fire in your eyes". Half hour later someone was a little less then considerate and boy was there fire in my eyes. Tee hee, not what I think was meant. Opposite side of same coin. Guess I have tonight's blog topic. But even better on the look out for a hot stud to pass it on to. This could be a great pick up trick. This really is the gift that keeps on giggling. Actually laughing out loud.  

I actually posted this in FB already so I feel like I'm cheating but I'll enhance.  A lot of us like to focus on one end of the pendulum and that can leave us out of whack.  And life isn't black and white and many of us fall within a spectrum between Saint and Devil and few hit the extremes.  However, it is important to recognize that we all have the ability to experience both.  And in order to really be free of the power that any of it has over any of us we need to own that.  Having it in you, doesn't mean you can't be responsible for how your express it.

As a child of a rager, I denied or shoved down the angry parts within me.  And ironically (well maybe not but I'll keep going) as part of my Polarity studies where we are talking about healing and we were doing a major completion practice, somebody says something to me which pushed one of my buttons. I reacted a little there but did I steam afterwords.  I was so pissed I wanted emasculate the person.  And I was sobbing because I was so pissed.  That is my internal fire suppression system under extreme angry.  (That being said I cry from joy and sadness too...but if you realize I'm crying from being pissed off, run for the hills.)  I actually acted more responsibly to the person than I felt inside and the part inside me scared the shit out of me at first and then I found it incredibly empowering.  I learned what a force it can be and I can control it or it can control me.

It's also been my experience if you can withstand the uncomfortability that happens when you hold two opposite extremes taught like a rubber band  magic can happen.  If you can get past the belief that you have two disparate thoughts and allow yourself to be creative, a whole new possibility can come about.  As Einstein says, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that caused it."  Sounds obvious, yet....

One Persons Medicine is Another Persons Poison

So today's love fortune was "I Love Your Healing Presence".  And right after receiving this I was walking to an early morning spin class.  The first thing I saw was a perfect half moon.  It was stunning and I realized what a healing presence the moon is for me.   Or perhaps I should say re-realized.  Actually she and I had a little talk and now I have some other commitments with her.

I also thought of the people who are healing presence partially just for gratitude and also to think of a re-gifting opportunity.  There was a friend (well several that came to mind) but an administrative assistant for an executive in the office.  I actually added Joyful healing presence and I gave it to her.  I explained to her how I received it and she was so delighted.  She actually said you need to keep this and I just said, nope thems the rules, pay it forward.  So I believe that was healing for her.  And in some ways I'm going to what isn't as long as you learn from it.  I guess the quote that comes to mind now is "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  That may not sound very gentle but it is empowering and gets us out of victimhood which is transformational.

Lucky to Love

Today's Love Fortune, is I love you more than yesterday and well these are the people I love more and more every day (there are more but these are the ones I had handy, some still in 3d, some not, but the love doesn't end...)

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Believe

Todays blog but yesterdays love fortune is "I love how strongly you hold to your beliefs".  And I laugh because my favorite quote from my teacher is, "Would you rather speak to someone who is coming from their experiences or from their beliefs...because you know, a belief system is just b.s."  I love me the profane metaphors and how true.  So am I filled of BS  maybe sometimes but mostly what is perceived as my beliefs is actually coming from my experiences and how I've integrated or aka rationalized them.  So I'll often share something with that's my story and I'm sticking with it, at least for now because let's face it my beliefs have evolved.  But the one thing I believe in is magic.  And magic is just the law of cause and effects puppet show and we can't see the strings or can't figure out how the magician cut the lady in half and put her back together.  Life is one big illusion albeit a very persistent one.

And this morning when I was thinking let me hold off on the blog, I found two great things on Facebook.  So thank you Esther Kim for posting this story of how a couple found their child in a subway.

And this Soul Pancake youtube video.  I'm on a quest for this ball pit with profound questions.  This actually goes back to yesterdays love fortune on how I can talk for hours.  This would help me with my idle chit chat and I can make new friends.  Click here and your heart will smile.

Can't Make This Sh@#! Up

Well that's my motto because synchronicities arise every where.  You lucky, today has been a roller coaster of a day and fortunately the highs outweighed the old so I'm leaving it simple...   I happened to be sharing a story with someone about work about being a cheerleader for a friend...to which she replied through a bathroom stall (probably too much information), you know one of the reasons I love you is because your so encouraging...to which I replied, how did you know that was todays love fortune.  Truth it was.  See here it is