The Little Engine That Could

So as I've been saying, I believe in the power of metaphor.  So in September when I knew I had to start to buckle down and start the job search after 4 months off, I decided to start strength training because I knew I had to feel strong as I had to sell myself to get a job, which was a lot like dating....neither of which I excel at.

I had met an amazing strong woman, Cara Brennan, through the burlesque world.  Cara offered me a comp session and I decided to take it even though I was not convinced I'd continue as I had become anti-gyms.

Let me step back a bit.  Many years ago, I was a bit of a gym rat.  I was at the gym every morning by 6 AM and worked out for 1 to 1 1/2 hours combining cardio and weights.  Then I started to realize I was doing it for the wrong reasons.  It was coming from a place of not feeling like enough.  So I decided to start and try to just listen to my body.  Well I got a bit lazy for many years and also grew in size.  Although because I was doing a lot of personal work through Polarity and Shamanism, I started to really like myself.  Although thee was a big discrepancy in how I felt inside and out.  It wasn't about size it was about resonance on all levels.

Then when I heard about Soul Cycle, I remembered enjoying spinning in my past.  I wasn't ready to go to a "gym".  I also needed to have my workouts come from a place of wheeeeeeee!!!!!  Soul gave that to me but at this time I needed more.  Although I did some weight training, I was more of a cardio girl...I like the adrenal high.  Although now, about to have my 50th session, working 2-3 times per week with Cara, I have become a fan...of both weight training and her.

I have found dead lifts to be great therapy when I am in a place of angst.  No matter how defeated I feel when I start, I feel a sense of accomplishment and strength when I leave.  It certainly helps that Cara is one of the most upbeat and inspirational people I have met.  It also doesn't hurt that we share a love of Burlesque, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and so many other things.  Again, I could have kept some of that severance money in my savings account but so delighted that I did not.  So not only is strength training great for an aging woman, as myself....yes I have a fear of osteoporosis, but it has also helped my emotional and mental health even more.  Also working out in the old Limelight at David Barton Gym, brings back happy memories.  Also lifting weights next to stain glass windows, prayer candles and a safe filled with disco balls is perfect for this playful shaman at heart.  And it is a new flavor of wheeeeee!!!!, that I didn't even know that I liked.  As they say, try it, you might like it and I did.  So I definitely feel like the little engine that could going from I think I can, I think I can to I know I can, I know I can.  And will continue and can't wait to see the ripples into the many aspects of my life.

Soul Midwife

In June, my 28 year career came to an end.  I knew it was coming to a close for two years as we were undergoing a Corporate Relocation to Raleigh, NC.  There were many reasons not to go, one of which was the absence of Soul Cycle or anything equivalent.  Needless to say those two years were like the longest hospice stay in creation. The 5 stages of death, right????  However, knowing vs experiencing it are two different things.    

It would have been easy for me, living off my severance package, to be frugal and minimize or even eliminate Soul Cycle.  But the thought of that made me even more depressed and glad it I didn’t submit to living from fear.  I waited until November to start the job search as I needed the time to grieve and take the opportunity to be free from expectations.  It truly was the Soul Cycle classes and community that supported me mentally and emotionally for the entire 9 months. Yes I'll be starting the new job 9 months to the day from my exit, so they were my midwife.

I always say that the Soul Cycle instructor line up is like being at Baskin Robin’s with all those flavors.  All the ice cream is yummy, heck it’s ice cream; however, our preference is based on flavoring.  And I really want to acknowledge those flavors aka instructors that supported me most whether they knew it at the time or not.  I list them below in the order that I was introduced to them in my Soul life-cycle and not the quantity or quality of their impact.

Rique Uresti - Rique was the first instructor at Soul Cycle that made me pay attention to whose classes I was signing up for.  I was introduced to him when I was very out of shape.  It would have been easy for me to retreat at the challenge as he was kicking my ass.  His style really helped me find my strength and brings out the fighter in me. Even though part of me would say, "Fuck him, I don't have to turn it to the right, he'll never know." I listened to the the other voice that said, "Fuck this, I can do it," and I do.  That or I just like following his inner dominatrix.  Over schedule and studio changes I took him less and less but during this time I needed to get me some Rique.

Danny Kopel - I left my first class with Danny thinking he was the embodiment of both, a pole dancer and Bob Fosse  When I told him, he said that was the best compliment he ever received.  Needless to say that cinched the fact that it was true love.  He brings such a sense of delight and wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!  I can go on and on how his passion and inspiration are a constant fuel for me in and out of class.  His support has been ineffable.

Lauren Bruker - I felt such a connection with Lauren the second I took her class.  I remember thinking how this young amazing instructor had this wise old soul.  I was delighted when she returned to us from her sojourn in California.  Lauren always reminds me not to take myself too seriously which needless to say her classes were critical at this time.  I like taking Lauren when life is hardest and at the high points.   After my first appointment with a career services agency, I ran to her class to release my anxiety and overwhelm.  As soon as I  received the call that I landed the job, I booked a class for that evening with Lauren.  And it was the perfect celebration.  I guess that makes her the Alpha and the Omega.

Marvin Foster - I call him my Soul Shaman.  He will come up with these profound metaphors that speak deep into my Soul and my psyche as if he were speaking directly to me and not the 60 other people in the room.  And of course he is a phenomenal teacher and his playlist make me feel like I’m in a dance club instead of an exercise studio.  

Matt Miller - I loved Matt from his days managing the front desk at USQ.  When he became an instructor, I went to his first community ride.  I remember thinking, “Oh god I hope he’s good, because I don’t want to have to lie."  Well we were barely through the 2nd song and I thought, “Wait isn’t this a community ride for new instructors?  This is both, great and hard.  I wasn’t expecting this.”  I can be a bit of a screamer when I’m enjoying myself in class and I left a little horse and made sure I signed up for the next two community rides and continue to sign up for his classes.  He was a natural and it felt like he had been teaching for years.  He was so inspiring for me at this critical time of transitioning to a new career and trusting that I can make a career change and thrive like he has.  What a great model to have.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t credit the community of people that I met through these classes that have become more like family.   And the staff, especially in USQ, that makes me feel the love the second I walk in the door.  Also a shout out to Thomas Charlton who provided me with my linked in phone, which was my last excuse to start the resume writing and job hunt.   

If I try to list them all, I may leave someone out.   So out of fear of offending I’m not naming anyone else with one exception.   I especially want to give a shout out to Margie Strauss Featherstone.  She and I first connected when we religiously took Parker’s classes at 6 AM in USQ together.  She has been my greatest support at this time for coaching and overall cheerleading.  Soul has given me so much and I don’t think I would have kept my sanity at this time without the Soul Community.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!