Courage to Be Me

Well this months New Moon was quite a new experience.  This is the first time I didn't have any live attendees.  I've always said that as long as I had dream workers, I would do the ceremony, I would still do the ceremony and this is the first time, I did.  I always look for the inner meaning and not until after I opened the directions and called in the names of all the dream workers and lite participants did I realize the gift in this for me.   Each month I ask participants to introduce themselves to the mesa and why they were there.  I always give my own little reason as well and not until I heard myself say that this month was dedicated to the courage to be me, did I get it.  Yes, it was courage to be fully me as I was the only one physically witnessing this.  In addition, because people are in the room when we do the individual process work, I'm often holding space for the group energetics.  Without people in the room, I was able to personally do the surrender and planting seed process.


So here is a view of the altar for the evening from the North and the South.



So interestingly this month I chose both songs to be the same artist P!nk.  I typically don't do that but as I had what I felt were the two perfect songs from her, I realized she does represent someone is appears to have courage to be her authentic self.  I've heard a few stories about why she calls herself P!nk, which can be pretty bold, but daring to call yourself that and using an exlamation point for the letter i, kind of says a lot in itself.


So we went through the surrender process with her son, F**king Perfect.  This probably could have been the seed song too, but I had to choose one for each and I like this because I think that many people really have to give up there idea's of Perfect.  I realize that many people suffer from the old paradigm of needing to be perfect which is this unrealistic goal that they inherited from their families, society and media...  The new paradigm for perfection is that everything that is happening in the moment is perfect and it is what we do with a situation and not whether it is "good" or "bad" that makes that so.  Because no one was in the room I did take a picutre of the burning of the surrender statements.  

What I always think is a great metaphor here is that the bowl looks full when I have the pieces of paper with all of the participants print outs; however, after the burning transformation is done, the ash is really quite small.  Reminding us that perhaps our issues are really not that big.  Then again in the ceremony, I also burn the papers with the seeds and prayers for others and you also know what, I often use different colors to represents the surrender, the seeds and the prayers but afterwards when it's ash, it all looks the same which also shows you that it is all energy.  And this goes back to our new paradigm of perfection that no matter how you label the moment it's all energy and it's all perfect.  Typically I take the ashes and offer them out to nature; however, I am committed to a pilgrimage to Peru and have decided to collect the ash I acquire in ceremony until then and find the perfect place to offer it in Peru.  So I'll be taking all your dreams and healing with me to Peru, a very sacred place for me.


So, of course, we continue the seed planting with P!nks version of Glitter in the Air and I also shared this you tube link with you of her performance of it at the Grammy Award Ceremony.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3stsDXki__U  It's pretty obvious why that represents the seeds of courage to be oneself.  And it also represents for the metaphor of doing something  that can be a metaphor for the change you want to see to see.  Like taking a trapeze class.  I remember the euphoria I felt after the first time I went rock climbing and after I reached the top.  Also I was a bad swimmer practically a non-swimmer.  I took this great class that was a weekend emersion and during it I felt like a mermaid, it was very empowering.  I actually never followed up and probably could use another but  how at that time in life my ability to swim helped remember during a challenging moment where I felt like I was barely trerading water through an experience, the following quote came to me.  The shaman swims in the same water that the psychotic drowns in.  And I was able to laugh at my challenge and said to myself, ok I may not be swimming but I'm not drowning, so I must not be psychotic.


So in the dreamwork I specifically mentioned "I'm also a big believe in metaphor.  So there could be actions we take that can be a metaphor for what we are trying to do.   Perhaps something that you are self conscious of doing or it scares you a little bit that would be a good metaphor to help you embody this a little more.  As I've often said, courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action with acknowledgement of the fear.  Perhaps your courageous act is to reach out to a friend for help or to share your dreams, take a Salsa Class, it can be taking an acting class, it can be taking a trapeze class, learn to rock climb, learn to swim or dive, take an art class, learn an instrument, practice saying no to the demands of others ... (see there are many options) look for something that would be a metaphor for what you want to achieve. I already have two things that I'm committing too myself.  One will be started before the ceremony and the other afterwards.  Make sure to put that in your title as well as I like to read the inspirational metaphors.  At the least, this is to help you think creatively on ways to glitter in the world yet, I highly encourage you to follow through with it."  


So for me, the action that I did.  I didn't realize it until it all came together but getting a tatto was just that metaphor for me.  I had always admired tattoo as art on others but always said that there is nothing I want forever and I'm afraid of the pain.  Well after thinking about it Hanuman, one of my favorite Hindu Monkey Gods, I certainly was able to imagine having forever and as I kept thinking of it, I realized that I didn't have fear of pain to be the reason I didn't do this.  As those of you have participated in the Wholeness Renewal Ceremony's Hanuman is very dear to me and represents humility, strength and devotional service.  I have to say I had never imagined myself to be the type of person that would have a tattoo and actually when I started out, I didn't even imaging it to be this large but when it came time, it really had to be and I'm so excited with my decision.  Here is my Hanuman tattoo.

So by no means am I saying that any of you should get a tattoo but there is something that you may want to do that represents you.  The other thing I plan on doing next week is taking a Salsa class.  This for me represents my desire to be someone that dances through life.  Salsa is spicy, like I'd like to consider myself.  And I'd like to meet men that can appreciate that as well.  So I'm committing to at least one class and let's see where that leads.  I had asked for you all to put that in the title and noticed that nobody did.  I thought I was more obvious in my request but I should have put it in the instructions towards the end.  There is something about sharing the metaphor with someone that also put's an exclamation point on the intention.  Plus this stuff gets me excited and  it's never too late.  So if you're inclined please share the metaphorical action that represents the courage to be you with me.  And please be creative and let it be something other than the items I've mentioned.  It doesn't have to be grandiose or take a huge expense but it has to be done with consciousness and it must have significance for you.  If you can't think of one, I'd love to set up a time to talk and we can come up with something fun together.

So of course I did the prayers for others as well and as usual I had the origami birds with the prayers for others on the mesa.  I choose birds so that your prayers may take flight.  And there was some special requests that I put in the shape of hearts in the south as these people need a little extra loving.  Here are those prayers

As always I ended with the garland of dreams.

Typically I offer the garland to the East River right after the ceremony; however, the next night I was offering my altar for a process call link up practiced by mesa carriers all over the worlds on Wednesday evenings.  Typically we do this in our own privacy, but other communities share the process once a month and because I love sharing and kind of the courage to be me, I decided to start to do this on the first Wednesday of the month.  The garland wanted to stay and have that experience and a sweet one it was.  The intention behind  link up process and the mesa tradition can best be represented by this quote by my teacher Oscar, "Compassionate action taken from spritual wisdom unites."  So the process is a lovely process of sacred reciprocity where we allow ourselves to be fed by the global unconditional love and in turn return that love to others on the planet that are in need.  So your dreams were further bathed in that energy.  Here is a picture of the offering to the East River, my local version of the Ganges.  I could have offered it that night but my gut said wait until the next night to offer it.  And then I realized that today is Cinco De Mayo which is Mexican Independence Day and a day that signifies pride.  Well what better day to offer your garland of dreams.  I wish I could take credit for thinking of that in advance.  And I would have given you a picture but I messed up with the flash and the river was so receptive of the offering that it was too far away by the time I figured it all out.  So you'll just have to trust how beautiful and awesome I know you are.