I just learned in looking for an M&M image that I can personalize M&M's and it's call My M&M's how convenient - as my M&M's are Mediation and Mesa (in alphabetical order not order of importance - it's all ONE) And it does feel all rainbow colored like the offerings from Mars (I'm seeing even more humor in this as I knew I was an alien and resonated with the star people - tee hee!!!)
It's nice to know that sometimes I don't have to be hit by the spiritual 2 X 4 to get it and despite the fact that I know that I know that I have all the tools I need to help me through the challenging times, sometimes I relinquish the control stick to "my mind" and boy does it like the roller coasters. The mind comes up with all these stories and react in the least helpful of ways trying to prove to me that I'm the victim.
So needless to stay, I was feeling like I was in kind of a rut and during it the mental self flagellation was unrelenting. I decided to take 5 days of Living Meditation with Harshada at Omega. On my way to the retreat, I realized that not only did I have 5 days of meditation with my most recent teacher Harshada, but I was going to follow it immediately by a Pachakuti Mesa weekend with my beloved and long time teacher Oscar and upon my return to have an evening of meditation with my first teaching Kevin Jennings. So I realized that spirit doesn't use 2X4's, it's my mind that does that. And what spirit did is give me many life preservers and gentle reminders and opportunities to immerse myself in the traditions that comfort me like my first security blanket
Surround by nature and bunnies and woodchucks and chipmunks and beautiful winged ones and ... well needless to say it was a nice place to shift gears. I went through pleasure and pain and both lead to personal insights on my patterns so that I know that I am a warrior from having survived my wounds with awareness and consciousness and NOT a non-particpating victim. I was able to re-discover my soul from the rubble caused from the earthquake of my mind. And despite what my mind was telling me, my soul was perfect, unharmed and stronger than ever...
Of course, sitting in circle with the Northeast community strengthened everything and reminded me of how I was and who I Am as Oscar says, it's a process of re-membering (and sometimes it feels like I have alzheimer's and have to be reminded many times) and that shamanism is a spiral dance that leads to my center.
Just to reinforce this newness - I started this morning with some exercise on the east river and as many of you heard I consider my ipod to be quite psychic and as I finished, the song Ding Dong! the Witch is Dead (by Harry Connick Jr.) played. And the metaphor for the witch is most definitely my mind. I didn't even know it was on there...so only goes to prove that you can't make this stuff up and the humor I find in life is certainly the fuel that keeps me going...
Wishing you Light, Love and Laughter Always!
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